I realize Donald Trump, the main reason the phrase is now “You’ve got to suck a few dicks to make an omelette,” is considered the Russian nesting doll of distractions. However, while most people assume that what you’ll find under all those layers of gross is the pedophilia truth about the Epstein files. I am […]
Read More Is Trump Forcing Maduro To Falsely Admit He Stole The 2020 Election For Biden?!?Congratulations, America, you are now the proud owner of Venezuela’s oil reserves, making this the largest US seizure of crude oil since the raid of Diddy’s hump dojo. But fear not, Venezuelans, because when it comes to selling off a country for its parts, Donald Trump is still America First, baby. Meaning your valuable resources […]
Read More America Seized Enough Venezuelan Oil To Supply Diddy’s Prison Sentence!!!Man, I can’t even take a week off without the entire world going to shit. Then again, with Trump in office, every time you take a whiz, it feels like you’re taking more than just your wiener into your own hands. So, in this episode of “How Can Trump Ruin Everyone’s Fucking Day?” Venezuelan President […]
Read More Maduro’s Wife: “Not Exactly The Spontaneous Caribbean Cruise I Had In Mind!”Imagine waiting for the latest iPhone release, but when you get to the front of the line and hand them all your money, some “genius” hands you a Blackberry charger and says, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you..NEXT!!” That’s essentially the bait-and-switch bullshit the Department of Justice just pulled with the files formerly known as […]
Read More Epstein Files Receive An Even Worse Review Than Trump’s Christmas Card!!!On the eve of the deadline, I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever redaction Rorschach test we receive in place of the Epstein files, it will feature more black ink than an octopus orgy. I mean, instead of the Epstein files, it should’ve taken an act of Congress to release Ghislaine Maxwell into the general […]
Read More Trump Is Bribing The Military With $1,776 Of The $2.9 Billion He Stole From Them!!!Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, pictured below with resting Paula-Dean-on-Bath-Salts’ face, went viral after being the first Trump official caught on record openly telling the truth. Spilling the MAGA tea to Vanity Fair about Trump’s ‘alcoholic personality’, Vance’s ‘Conspiracy’ Theories, and Musk’s ‘avowed ketamine use,’ and yet not one mention of Karolying Leavitt’s lips having […]
Read More Girl’s Gone Wiles!!!Donald Trump, a man who even betrayed his oath to protect and defend the Epstein Files. Held a rally at the Mount Airy Casino in the Poconos yesterday to discuss the state of the economy. A symbolic gesture, considering that if not for casinos, Trump might never have learned how to bankrupt a country. There, […]
Read More Rip Tan Stinkle Makes It Through An Entire Speech Awake, But Not Woke!!!Donald Trump, a man who even overthrows governments, America First. Now plans to give “Winning” the War on Drugs what 2011 called the “Charlie Sheen-Try.” Don’t get me wrong, fentanyl should be considered a weapon of mass destruction. Something so deadly it can be used by Republicans to start a war under false pretenses. However, […]
Read More Venezuela Couldn’t Kill A Headache With The Amount Of Fentanyl They Produce!!!Donald Trump recently received FIFA’s first-ever Peace Prize. An award ceremony with all the pomp and circumstance of the Oscars and the prestige of finding a Female Body Inspector (FBI) T-shirt in the Hooters’ dumpster. Because the only international sports organization award Trump is earning on merit is a participation medal from the Special Olympics. […]
Read More Trump, First War Criminal Awarded Participation Peace Prize!!!Donald Trump, a man who turned the “War on Drugs” into target practice for war criminals. Recently pardoned former Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernandez, who smuggled more than 400 tons of cocaine into the US and, in the process, turned his blowhole into his cellmate’s favorite snow globe. Perhaps that amount of Honduran marching powder […]
Read More Trump Pardons Honduran Drug Trafficker!!!
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