Donald Trump, a man so obsessed with remodeling the White House in his own image that he transformed the East Wing into a total train wreck. If he hadn’t already, Trump can now officially cross “A-Hole in the White House” off his bucket list. You would think commuting George Santos’ prison sentence for using donor […]
Read More You Can Officially Cross ‘A-Hole In The White House’ Off Trump’s Bucket List!!!You would assume Donald Trump would have a lot more in common with a bunch of land-owning white guys who didn’t want to pay taxes and thought minorities shouldn’t vote. Yet, if you’ve read the American Founding Fathers’ Declaration of Independence, it sounds more like Jefferson’s 1-star Yelp review of Trump’s presidency. Trump has so […]
Read More The Declaration Of Independence Reads Like A 1-Star Yelp Review Of Trump’s Presidency!!!What do Middle East peace and fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election have in common? They’re the only figments of Donald Trump’s imagination that don’t require an XXX-rating or a non-disclosure agreement. Leave it to Trump to think he could somehow solve more than 100 years of infighting the same way he “Made America Great […]
Read More Turns Out Negotiating Peace Is A Lot Easier On Truth Social Than In The Middle East!!!Welcome to the United States of America, the former land of the free and home of the brave, where, if asked how you spent your Saturday, October 18th, in mixed company, you answer, “On the advice of counsel, I must exercise my 5th Amendment right to pretend you were talking to that nosey MAGA bitch […]
Read More America: F*cking With Bitch-Ass KKKings Since 1776Donald Trump is so laser-focused on receiving a Nobel Prize that he’s willing to kill everyone who stands between him and peace. Much like DC Comics’ antihero PeaceMaker, except Trump is much fatter, dumber, and instead of PeaceMaker’s cool helmet and bald eagle sidekick, PeaceMAGA wears a dirty diaper and has a bald asshole named […]
Read More Donald Trump Plans To Kill As Many People As It Takes To Reach Peace!!!With “No Kings” Part Deux upon us, Donald Trump plans to play Battleship with Navy Warships and fire missiles into Camp Pendleton, California, in the worst Hasbro game-inspired bombing since Rihanna sank her “Battleship” movie. Thankfully, the folks holding down the fort at Democracy’s Alamo, The Meidas Touch Network, broke the news about the Department […]
Read More Navy Warships To Fire Missiles Into California During “No Kings” Protest!!!Donald Trump, fresh off claiming victory in the war against waste, fraud, abuse, and the American Soybean Farmer, was photographed for the cover of Time Magazine, in what’s being called the most unflattering Presidential headshot since the JFK assassination. The picture, which answers the question, “What’s the point of view of Trump’s gunt?” Appears to […]
Read More Trump’s Gunt, About The Gruesome Angle Of The Time Cover Photo: “I Warned You!”Donald Trump pulled off an amazing accomplishment this week, and I would consider myself a hater if, for once, I couldn’t put my differences aside to acknowledge this achievement. So, credit where credit is due: congratulations, Donald Trump. Most men your age not only tear a rotator cuff patting themselves on the back, but don’t […]
Read More Trump Defies Old Age, Somehow Pats Himself On The Back For An Entire Middle-East Trip!!!Donald Trump is traveling to the Middle East, not only to sign a Hamas-Israeli peace agreement, but to officially call dibs on the Gaza coastline and rename it Trump’s Noble Beach Prize. However, when it comes to ending the war, it’s obvious Trump also has some non-Nobel Peace Prize ulterior motives. After all, when asked […]
Read More Trump Plans To Call Dibs On The Gaza Coast And Rename It Trump’s Noble Beach Prize!!!Sure, Donald Trump has an “America First” agenda, but so did Osama Bin Laden, and I don’t remember Fox News calling him “Patriotic”. I mean, allowing Qatar’s Air Force to set up shop in Idaho might be good news for the state’s lone Halal grocery shop, “Atta Boy’s,” but not so much for the residents […]
Read More A Qatari Air Force Base In Idaho Is Sending Some Serious “America First” Mixed Messages!!!
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