Tag: USA Today

Venezuela Couldn’t Kill A Headache With The Amount Of Fentanyl They Produce!!!

Donald Trump, a man who even overthrows governments, America First. Now plans to give “Winning” the War on Drugs what 2011 called the “Charlie Sheen-Try.” Don’t get me wrong, fentanyl should be considered a weapon of mass destruction. Something so deadly it can be used by Republicans to start a war under false pretenses. However, […]

Read More Venezuela Couldn’t Kill A Headache With The Amount Of Fentanyl They Produce!!!

Robbin’ Hood: Prince Of Thieves!!!

Donald Trump claimed the only reason he initially refused to release SNAP benefits was that it would violate the law. Sure, most people would gladly break the rules to feed starving children, but not Trump. He’d never knowingly commit a crime unless it was an extreme circumstance like: wanting to win an election he already […]

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Hunting Brown People Remains Trump’s Top Priority, While Feeding Children, Not So Much!!!

The government shutdown has entered day 30, which not only means air traffic controllers and SNAP recipients won’t be getting paid, but that ICE is now officially hunting brown people out of the kindness of their hearts. Just kidding, Homeland Security has authorized a special “super check” for all ICE agents that not only covers […]

Read More Hunting Brown People Remains Trump’s Top Priority, While Feeding Children, Not So Much!!!

Have You Heard FEMA’s Hurricane Hilarious, David Richardson’s Latest Joke?!?

David Richardson, FEMA’s Acting Administrator and incestual offspring of “Vigo the Carpathian,” the evil painting from Ghostbusters 2, said he thought hurricane season was nothing more than a myth like the female orgasm or American democracy. I guess it’s hard to comprehend how a storm cycle could have a start and end date if you’re a […]

Read More Have You Heard FEMA’s Hurricane Hilarious, David Richardson’s Latest Joke?!?

Trump Tries To Rebrand The “N-Word” During Fox News Interview!!!

During a Fox News appearance that felt a lot more like two grown men committing consensual public indecency than conducting an interview, Donald Trump coaxed his accomplice Bret Baier into rebranding the definition of the “N-word” from racial slur to “nuclear.” Apparently, Trump feels it’s wildly inappropriate to call minorities the “N-word” because not saying […]

Read More Trump Tries To Rebrand The “N-Word” During Fox News Interview!!!

RFK Jr Testified Under Oath To Congress That He’s Completely Full Of Sh*t!!!

RFK JR, the unfortunate fallout of the Kennedy family now being gun-shy about lobotomies, testified under oath to Congress, “I don’t think people should be taking medical advice from me.” Quite a shocking revelation for a man whose existence revolves entirely around spreading unsolicited medical disinformation like a defective Dr. Know-It-All. Well then, what’s next? […]

Read More RFK Jr Testified Under Oath To Congress That He’s Completely Full Of Sh*t!!!

Interim First Lady Musk Will Be Trump’s Date At His State Of The Dictatorship Speech!!!

So, DOGE-Bag-in-Chief Elon Musk will attend Trump’s State of the Dictatorship speech as his guest. During the event, it appears Musk will be positioned inside the First Lady’s box. Which, much like the State of New York, is another venue where Trump has been banned from conducting his sordid business. Musk’s appearance is a follow-up […]

Read More Interim First Lady Musk Will Be Trump’s Date At His State Of The Dictatorship Speech!!!

Habitual FBI Informant And Traitor Enrique Tarrio, Slaps A Woman At The Capital!!!

So relentless POS Enrique Tarrio made his audacious return to the Capital grounds the other day. To say the Capital police were looking forward to the re-appearance of the January 6th architect would be like saying the Polish were looking forward to Hitler’s unannounced visit in 1939. However, unlike Poland, the Capital Officers didn’t allow […]

Read More Habitual FBI Informant And Traitor Enrique Tarrio, Slaps A Woman At The Capital!!!