A recent discovery of a Dinosaur Highway in England proves that not only did dinosaurs roam Great Britain approximately 166 million years ago. But the pathways left behind by their footprints also suggest, yes, the British have been driving on the wrong side of the road this entire time. Even the most pea-brained dinosaur would […]
Read More A “Dinosaur Highway” Was Recently Uncovered In England!!!In the least shocking development since Los Angeles spontaneously combusted once again, causing hundreds of thousands to be displaced by relentless wind-driven wildfires devastating the region. A self-driving car malfunctioned, leaving its time-strapped passenger attempting to make his flight with no self-troubleshooting go-to options on the fly. Perhaps the software engineers tasked with solving any […]
Read More Despite Ignoring It’s Airport Destination Driverless Car Successfully Circles Parking Lot!!!Christmas Day comes around just as quickly as it goes away each year. However, the one thing that awkwardly overstays its welcome much longer than is sociably acceptable. Other than your creepy single uncle fooling no one but his mirror with his attempted combover, is that withering Christmas tree kept in the unproductive corner of […]
Read More What To Do With Your Christmas Tree If You Missed Your Local Pick-Up Day!!!Everyone’s favorite “Caribbean Queen” Rihanna, made a viral New Year’s Eve announcement that she had successfully made it through 2024 booze-less. Now, only the algorithm truly knows whether her statement was the catalyst for Apple News’s nearly simultaneous follow-up campaign for a dry 2025. However, the timing of GMA’s Riri segment and Apple’s Pavlovian News […]
Read More Rihanna Wasn’t The Only One Saying No To Drinks In 2024!!!As 2025 is upon us, we say goodbye to back-to-back years of the hottest temperatures Earth has ever seen. Perhaps it’s time we start planning ahead for a somewhat sustainable future. Just in the off chance Elon Musk’s AI worldwide takeover fails miserably, much like his numerous attempts at humor have. Especially if the makeup […]
Read More A Meat Eater’s Investigation Into The Cultivated Meat Industry!!!As one of Barstool Sports OG Stoolies, I’m obviously aware of Dave Portnoy and the juggernaut media empire he has built over the years. In fact, it was a relatively small group of us who were originally around at the very start of it all. One of my closest friends introduced me to Dave when […]
Read More Barstool’s Prez Is The Hero Pizza Deserves!!!On the off chance, you survived your family Christmas festivities or first few evenings of Hanukkah with your psyche still intact. Fear not because I am here to Debbie-Downer you right back into reality. Leveling you off to the average cruising altitude of post-holiday dread and regret that most adults suffer during the last few […]
Read More Could The Bird Flu Virus Mutations Mean Another Pandemic Is On the Horizon?!?Just when I thought my all too short holiday, “vacation…from my problems!” was somewhat turbulent. The horrific Christmas Day footage of a plane crash in Kazakhstan began trending. Then, as tragedies often do, it put my minuscule troubles into perspective. What was first believed to be a freak accident ended up taking the lives of […]
Read More The Azerbaijani Jet’s Flight Pattern Suggests It Was Fleeing Russian Airspace!!!Meet Oz Pearlman, not to be confused with daytime television’s version of Dr Evil, more widely known as medical hack Dr. Oz. No, unlike the malpractitioner, and his daily doses of disinformation spread across network airwaves, Oz Pearlman is the real fucking deal. A former Merril Lynch employee who has been obsessed with magic and […]
Read More Meet The Guest Who Rendered Howard Stern Speechless!!!With threats of mass deportations looming over the nation, one woman has been trying her damndest to flee good ole U-S-OF-A, with less than stellar results. Svetlana Dali was once again apprehended sneaking out of the country. This time, she was pinched, making a reverse Taco Bell-style “Run for the Border.” Utilizing a well-known Canadian […]
Read More Is The Stowaway Caught Twice In Two Weeks “The Serial Stowaway’s” Doppelganger?!?
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