Whether you like it or not, TikTok is here to stay. Well, that is until the government bans it, but that’s completely beside the point. The damage has already been done, and the fallout is an entire generation of humans missing a large portion of their brains, devoted solely to self-loathing amounts of embarrassment. Which, the more I read this aloud, it may actually be a good thing? How bout we agree, the jury’s still out on this one.
Now, girls can easily shake off such mortifying humiliation. By, merely remembering, this is a rite of passage associated with good looks at that age. However, the local Burger King fry jockey over here has no such luck. Unfortunate timing indeed, for this TikTok twirling tween. Some guys get all the breaks, and the other guys are busted, on their breaks, getting busy in a Burger King bathroom no less. If there truly was a god, Mr. Pissy Pants would’ve left this poor kid alone and walked in on the “Private Dancer” in the next video. He appears to be, the more fortunate son and the perfect candidate for a bit of adversity thrown his way.
Just when I thought second-hand embarrassment was the only known pitfall of confidently dancing for strangers online. This brazen burglar interrupts this woman’s best take yet with a home invasion viral cameo of his own.
Thankfully she was all right, but not every “Inside Edition” profile has a happy ending. This “part-time crook” found out the hard way, that sometimes your online followers can be real haters, that includes the FBI. Now let’s address the elephant in the room. I do realize “Inside Edition” has made multiple appearances, as of late. I can assure you that it’s more of an algorithm problem, than a me problem. A man needs to eat, and that’s all they keep feeding me in here. I’m glad we got that out of the way.
In Today’s Palate Cleanser, we are gifted the fairytale ending, to the most unlikely two-man Wolfpack story told, in modern American history. Thank you, Uber dash-cam, THANK YOU!
THE-ANTI-SOCIAL-MEDIA 