Congratulations, America, you are now the proud owner of Venezuela’s oil reserves, making this the largest US seizure of crude oil since the raid of Diddy’s hump dojo. But fear not, Venezuelans, because when it comes to selling off a country for its parts, Donald Trump is still America First, baby. Meaning your valuable resources should be secure for at least a few more years. Considering when this fully-functioning fucktard originally heard your oil was stolen from the US, he pictured it was syphoned from the Deepwater Horizon spill, one 5-gallon Poland Spring jug at a time. So, don’t start losing sleep until you see these MAGA Dumb Dumbs scaling the side of the Statue of Liberty, looking to pawn her crown for a ball of Venezuelan marching powder. Basically, you should brace for impact if you see the whites of Don Jr’s nostrils storming the beaches of Venezuela in a stolen Aruban paddle boat.
The BBC Article Quoted – https://www.bbc.com/news/live/ckgx05erygvt
In today’s Palate Cleanser, we learn that Pete Hegseth, the person you would draw if your Pictionary card read: Racist Gigilo. Plans to fine and demote Sen Mark Kelly, a decorated Vet, wartime fighter pilot, astronaut, inspiration for the Avengers, and the man whom Tom Cruise often thinks about when he masturbates. All because he once quoted the letter of the law in a video that Trump took as personally as a diss track written by Biden’s Autopen. Meanwhile, Pete Hegseth’s greatest contribution to the American Military was not accidentally cc’ing Maduro’s bodyguards on the “Venezuela’s Super Fucked” Signal Chat.
I’m hearing “Operation Absolut Resolve” is also what RFK Jr calls his cure for Measles
THE-ANTI-SOCIAL-MEDIA 