*VIDEO UPDATED JD Vance denied reports of a planned all-hands-on-deck meeting that CNN reported on earlier in the day. Before he ultimately postponed the not-so-secret event, in a lame attempt to help 2029-JD Vance pass an FBI lie detector test. Not to mention, it gave Vance the perfect opportunity to get in a fraudulent “I […]
Read More Dinner For Schmucks *NOT Postponed Until Further Notice?!?Donald Trump spontaneously wandered out onto the White House roof yesterday in what appeared to be a Choose Your Own Adventure series titled “Diddler on The Roof: Alziemeher’s Edition.” But it was all just a simple misunderstanding. Apparently, Trump thought the best remedy for swollen cankles was to go onto the roof, after doctors advised […]
Read More We Wanted Trumpty Dumpty, We Got Diddler On The Roof!!!Donald Trump took time out of avoiding accusations about his creepy past to open up to Newsmax about his 27-year-old Press Secretary’s fuckability. Because nothing screams, “I’m a reformed pedophile” more than hornily hitting on an employee who was -2 years-old back when Trump was barely a 50-year-old wingman for Jeffrey Epstein. Then again, only […]
Read More Trump’s Horned-Up Newsmax Interview Made America Nauseous Again!!!Credit where credit is due, Donald Trump’s name is not in the Epstein Files. Sure, it took thousands of FBI agents working around the clock to make all the evidence disappear, but that’s only because redacting files is much more time-consuming than staging a murder to look like a suicide. And in case you’re wondering […]
Read More FBI Wipes the Epstein Files Clean Of Trump’s Fingerprint!!!Sure, most people don’t feel the need to randomly call their friends, to not so subtly convince them that they had no involvement in another person’s suicide. But, then again, this is Donald Trump we’re talking about. A man who, when others are playing checkers, calls them out of the blue to ask if Jeffrey […]
Read More Trump Calling Friends To Convince Them He Didn’t Kill Epstein Is A Bit Of A Red Flag!!!Nice try, Fox News, but it’ll take a lot more than Sydney Sweeney’s WMDs (Weapons of Mammary in Denim) to distract America from the fact that our President is at best pedophile-friendly. And spare me all your faux-MAGA outrage because the only blue-eyed blonde with big tits Democrats are bitching about being an advertisement for […]
Read More Nice Try, Fox News, But It’ll Take More Than Sydney Sweeney To Forget Trump’s Pedo-Friendly!!!Congressman Tim Burchett motioned to subpoena Epstein-Madam and Bottom Bitch, Ghislaine Maxwell, to testify before the House Oversight Committee. A move that not only forced Speaker Johnson to send Congress home early for summer break, giving Marjorie Taylor Greene even more time to shatter her all-time Bourbon Street beads-for-boobs record, but also forced Donald Trump […]
Read More Congressional Subpoena Lands Ghislaine Maxwell On The Endangered Species List!!!It appears that while Ghislaine Maxwell plays chess, Donald Trump chews the Connect Four box open. Considering Trump fired the lead federal prosecutor on both the Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell sex trafficking cases, Maurene Comey, from the Department of Justice. For some totally legitimate reason, like she knows too much, or her FBI Director […]
Read More Is Ghislaine Maxwell’s Legal Winning Streak Payment For Her Silence?!?It turns out that when young girls were being swept away from camp cots by deadly Texas flood waters, FEMA search and rescue teams were forced to sit on their thumbs for 72 hours waiting for Cosplay Kristi Noem to sign off on their deployment. However, it turns out she was far too busy asking […]
Read More FEMA’s Texas Response Slowed Because Cosplay Kristi’s Scuba Gear Was Lost In The Attic!!!Trump’s name appeared in the Epstein files more than the Bible referred to Jesus H Christ. So, it’s not surprising, in the case of the Billionaire Diddler, Pam Bondi couldn’t find any evidence of corruption. Considering, like Waze directions from the White House to Mar-A-Lago, all roads lead back to Donald Trump. And in MAGA […]
Read More Stay Tuned For The DOJ Press Release: “Bondi Determines, JFK Gunshot Wound; Self-Inflicted”!!!
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