The New York Times is reporting that Donald Trump has pocketed more than $ 1.4 billion since moving back into a Melania-less White House. No doubt the single-largest underestimation of Trump’s net since President Fatty McGee took full-Earth credit for his 224lb moon weight. I mean, Trump is built ike an Iceburg, so we can […]
Read More Guess Who Earned $1.4+ Billion This Year?!?After the House passed the release of the Epstein files in a 427-1 vote, the Senate invoked unanimous consent and quickly sent the bill over to the White House for signature. Where Trump said, “What’s unanimous consent, and if I sign this, can I invoke it retroactively?” Just kidding; Trump was going all in, with […]
Read More Trump’s Reenactment Of The Epstein Files Ends In A Happy Ending!!!Donald Trump announced he will not subvert the release of the Epstein files, but will sure as shit give a full pardon when Pam Bodi does. That’s the thing about pledging loyalty to a Sex Offender: you’re not only forced to kiss Trump’s ass, but to also eat it. Which is nothing compared to the […]
Read More Trump Won’t Derail The Release Of The Epstein Files, But An Open Investigation Will!!!Now that the discharge petition has reached the necessary 218 votes to release the Epstein files, the GOP suddenly realizes they can no longer protect Donald Trump. Sure, their first instinct was to jump into bed with a sex offender, but even Republicans prefer covering their own ass to getting fucked by a pedophile. Which […]
Read More The Groupies Of Pedophiles (GOP) Are Stuck Between A Rock And A Sex Offender!!!Donald Trump threw himself a “Great Gatsby” themed party the night before SNAP benefits would dry up for 42 million food-insecure Americans, titled: “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody.” A name that not only ignores the potential starvation of millions but also contradicts F. Scott Fitzgerald’s point entirely. Which is ironic, because empathy is usually […]
Read More Mar-A-Lago’s ‘A Little Party Never Killed Nobody’ Bender Kicked-Off Trump’s First Hunger Games!!!With the United States government shutting its doors for the first time since 2020, back when it contracted Covid and a debilitating strain of Democrat Derangement Syndrome, both from Donald Trump. That, to this day, is considered fact-resistant and highly contagious among the unvaccinated and the dumb fuck community overall. The GOP has once again […]
Read More Welcome To Trump’s Government ShutShow!!!Credit where credit is due, Donald Trump’s name is not in the Epstein Files. Sure, it took thousands of FBI agents working around the clock to make all the evidence disappear, but that’s only because redacting files is much more time-consuming than staging a murder to look like a suicide. And in case you’re wondering […]
Read More FBI Wipes the Epstein Files Clean Of Trump’s Fingerprint!!!Sure, most people don’t feel the need to randomly call their friends, to not so subtly convince them that they had no involvement in another person’s suicide. But, then again, this is Donald Trump we’re talking about. A man who, when others are playing checkers, calls them out of the blue to ask if Jeffrey […]
Read More Trump Calling Friends To Convince Them He Didn’t Kill Epstein Is A Bit Of A Red Flag!!!“Queen for the Day” immunity recipient, Ghislaine Maxwell, may also be rewarded with a Trump Presidential Pardon for her newfound ability to recall even the most obscure legal infractions imaginable by a Democrat, despite the gory Trump details portion of her brain getting lobotomized. Or, “The Bottom-Bitch holding up her side of the bribe,” according […]
Read More Pardon The Interruption?!?Congressman Tim Burchett motioned to subpoena Epstein-Madam and Bottom Bitch, Ghislaine Maxwell, to testify before the House Oversight Committee. A move that not only forced Speaker Johnson to send Congress home early for summer break, giving Marjorie Taylor Greene even more time to shatter her all-time Bourbon Street beads-for-boobs record, but also forced Donald Trump […]
Read More Congressional Subpoena Lands Ghislaine Maxwell On The Endangered Species List!!!
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