Congratulations, America, you are now the proud owner of Venezuela’s oil reserves, making this the largest US seizure of crude oil since the raid of Diddy’s hump dojo. But fear not, Venezuelans, because when it comes to selling off a country for its parts, Donald Trump is still America First, baby. Meaning your valuable resources […]
Read More America Seized Enough Venezuelan Oil To Supply Diddy’s Prison Sentence!!!Fresh off Pete Hegseth’s battle rap loss against decency and douche chills at Trump’s renaming of the “Department of War,” the worst Department of Defense rebranding since the Pentagon tried bangs. House Democrats, the Epstein estate, a retiring Republican, and whatever the fuck Marjorie Taylor Greene is considered post-hard-boil, just released the infamous 50th birthday […]
Read More Epstein’s 50th Birthday Book Reads More Like An Uppity Pedophile’s Manifesto!!!Somehow, Donald Trump has enough breakup stories about Jeffrey Epstein to supply Taylor Swift with a double album. But much like his diapers, when the press gets a whiff of something that doesn’t smell right, it’s time for Trump to change his story. And since Mar-A-Largo was already known as Epstein Island’s scouting combine, Trump […]
Read More Epstein Dumped Trump Over Russian Money Laundering Deal!!!The Senate attended a classified briefing on Operation Midnight Hammer, AKA the codename for the US bombing campaign on Iran, and also how Pete Hegseth describes his rigorous late-night masturbatory sessions. And despite both Democrats and Republicans disagreeing along party lines on Trump’s assessment of the bombing’s effectiveness, they did, however, unanimously agree that Trump […]
Read More Both Democrat And Republican Senators Agree Iran Bombing Did Happen… And That’s About It!!!Donald Trump may have given the order to bomb 3 Iranian nuclear facilities yesterday. However, this decision was inevitable after he unilaterally tore up the existing nuclear agreement in 2018. And since it gave up all US oversight of Iran’s nuclear program, he has been unsuccessfully trying to replace it ever since. Because, as everyone […]
Read More Trump’s War With Iran Began The Day He Tore Up The US/Iran Nuclear Agreement!!!It’s been a tough week for the Trump Regime; not only did they learn Iran’s Supreme Leader appears more popular among the MAGA-first crowd than their own guy. But when the President was told his poll numbers were dangerously low, instead of taking the Iran crisis more seriously, Trump said, “Problem solved, I’ve got a […]
Read More Trump Spent $100,000 On Flag Poles And Somehow “The Fake News” Still Reports Low Poll Numbers!!!
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