Donald Trump slept through most of yesterday’s cabinet meeting, or as Fox News is reporting, ‘Displayed anti-woke leadership.’ But what did this cabinet expect, scheduling their circle jerk during the mid-day nap of Rip Tan Stinkle? It speaks volumes when a sex offender would rather fart himself to sleep than enjoy a happy ending from […]
Read More Rip Tan Stinkle Passed Out Before His Cabinet Meeting Happy Ending!!!Donald Trump claimed the only reason he initially refused to release SNAP benefits was that it would violate the law. Sure, most people would gladly break the rules to feed starving children, but not Trump. He’d never knowingly commit a crime unless it was an extreme circumstance like: wanting to win an election he already […]
Read More Robbin’ Hood: Prince Of Thieves!!!No matter what JD Vance and Donald Trump say, over the last decade, 96% of all political assassinations have been committed by right-wing extremists. Hot yoga, unflinching morals, and crippling student loan debt from a Fem-lit degree: now that’s some real left-wing-lunatic shit. Sure, there are bad apples in every bunch, but is that probable […]
Read More Over The Last Decade 96% Of All Political Killings Were By Right-Wing Assassins!!!Donald Trump took time out of his busy schedule of golfing, ballroom renovations, and dodging Epstein questions like a CDC employee taking on Anti-Vax gunfire. To convince America that the best way to make Washington, DC, safe is to pardon 1,500 violent criminals back onto the streets. And since the best remedy to combat crime […]
Read More Donny’s DC Dictatorship Isn’t Only A Distraction, It’s An Insurance Policy For Jan 6th 2029!!!Nice try, Fox News, but it’ll take a lot more than Sydney Sweeney’s WMDs (Weapons of Mammary in Denim) to distract America from the fact that our President is at best pedophile-friendly. And spare me all your faux-MAGA outrage because the only blue-eyed blonde with big tits Democrats are bitching about being an advertisement for […]
Read More Nice Try, Fox News, But It’ll Take More Than Sydney Sweeney To Forget Trump’s Pedo-Friendly!!!Donald Trump may have given the order to bomb 3 Iranian nuclear facilities yesterday. However, this decision was inevitable after he unilaterally tore up the existing nuclear agreement in 2018. And since it gave up all US oversight of Iran’s nuclear program, he has been unsuccessfully trying to replace it ever since. Because, as everyone […]
Read More Trump’s War With Iran Began The Day He Tore Up The US/Iran Nuclear Agreement!!!First, Trump told Iran that America wasn’t plotting to kill their Supreme Leader and, in the ultimate display of mixed messages, he then announced any negotiations on his behalf would be handled by “Pudgy The Grim Reaper” JD Vance, which was not only how the Catholic Church suffered its own sudden leadership void. But the […]
Read More Trump Threatens Iran With War And The US With Another Sh*tty Phone!!!Yesterday, all hell broke loose between Donald Trump and Elon Musk, and by “All hell broke loose,” I mean two emotionally impotent men were alternating hissy fits over social media like they were dueling banjos. And in case you were wondering, that resonating awkward silence you felt was either Morons involuntarily re-entering reality’s atmosphere or […]
Read More Shock And AWWWWWW….. Yeah!!!JD Vance, MAGA’s Patron Saint of Monotony, made an unsolicited return to Rome yesterday to crash Pope Leo’s inaugural mass. After a prior Pope Francis encounter proved so tedious that Medical Examiners determined that the boredom alone ultimately drained the will to beat out of the Pope’s heart. So, once it became publicized that newly […]
Read More JD Vance Crashed Pope Leo’s Inaugural Mass!!!Something’s gone incredibly wrong if American voters are more likely to overlook rape allegations than the modern-day Catholic Church. Sure, the Conclave process may still be chock-full of religious misogyny, but then again, that’s a selling point for the republican party. I must say it’s refreshing to have an election in this day and age […]
Read More Little Known Fact About The New Pope He’s A U-S-A-Men!!!
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