Donald Trump took time out of avoiding accusations about his creepy past to open up to Newsmax about his 27-year-old Press Secretary’s fuckability. Because nothing screams, “I’m a reformed pedophile” more than hornily hitting on an employee who was -2 years-old back when Trump was barely a 50-year-old wingman for Jeffrey Epstein. Then again, only […]
Read More Trump’s Horned-Up Newsmax Interview Made America Nauseous Again!!!Karoline Leavitt took time out of deflecting Epstein questions to blame Trump’s sudden cankle-to-thankle* downgrade (*thigh-sized ankle) and skin falling off like a wet Band-Aid, on a minor vein condition. That is apparently brought on by a vigorous regimen of aspirin, handshakes, and a refusal to admit when your diaper is dirty. A prognosis that […]
Read More Cankles: The Trump Update No One Wanted!!!The Senate attended a classified briefing on Operation Midnight Hammer, AKA the codename for the US bombing campaign on Iran, and also how Pete Hegseth describes his rigorous late-night masturbatory sessions. And despite both Democrats and Republicans disagreeing along party lines on Trump’s assessment of the bombing’s effectiveness, they did, however, unanimously agree that Trump […]
Read More Both Democrat And Republican Senators Agree Iran Bombing Did Happen… And That’s About It!!!Heading into New York City’s Democratic primary for Mayor, former NY Governor, and guy who hugs your wife way too long at charity events, Andrew Cuomo was heavily favored. However, democratic voters proved if there’s one MAGA characteristic they would implement themselves, it’s ignoring qualifications, not reelecting a sexual predator. As they handed 33-year-old Zohran […]
Read More Unlike MAGA, NYC Dems Prefer Their Perves Remain On Sex Offender Lists, Not Ballots!!!It’s been a tough week for the Trump Regime; not only did they learn Iran’s Supreme Leader appears more popular among the MAGA-first crowd than their own guy. But when the President was told his poll numbers were dangerously low, instead of taking the Iran crisis more seriously, Trump said, “Problem solved, I’ve got a […]
Read More Trump Spent $100,000 On Flag Poles And Somehow “The Fake News” Still Reports Low Poll Numbers!!!Unless Iowa’s junior Senator Joni Ernst has dated out of her league comedically or has a gynecologist who prefers to lighten the mood with a few warm-up jokes, this woman has never had a funny bone in her body. And despite being mischaracterized by The Hill, her latest video was clearly condescending, not “sarcastic,” considering […]
Read More Will Iowa’s Joni Ernst Triple Down On Her Condescending Karen Of The Corn Bit?!?Karoline Leavitt was still buzzing from her Oscar-worthy performance at her White House press briefing in which she acted mortified at the mere thought of Trump financially benefitting from the presidency, when news broke of Donald, “The Oval Orifice,” Trump had been gifted a $400 million flying mega-mansion by the Qatari government. Prompting KKKaroline to […]
Read More Will Trump Make American Manufacturing Great Again By Making $400 Million Qatari Private Jets Exempt From Tariffs?!?
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