Trump: ‘Thank You, Un-Redaction, Without You, I Would’ve Never Gone Platinum!!!’

Last summer, when I wrote, “Trump prays he’s in the Epstein files less than Jesus is in the Bible.” I presumed I was crafting a joke, not foreshadowing a brainless fear-monger’s path like the Wizard of Oz Pearlman. However, since then, the name Donald Trump has appeared in the unredacted Epstein Files over a million […]

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The Discombobulator-In-Chief!!!

Donald Trump can’t stop bragging about a new military weapon he named, “The Discombobulator.” Although, can you really trust Trump’s reviews of its capabilities? Considering he once nicknamed himself “The Fastest Man Alive” after convincing Melania that premature ejaculation was a superpower. However, even when it comes to classified information, Trump can’t help but leak […]

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Is ICE Losing Its Grip?!?

It’s official, Greg Bovino, Trump’s snack-sized border bitch has been demoted from the front lines in Minnesota, so he can primarily focus on his true passion, drowning Mexicans in obscurity. And while in the grand scheme of things, this is, at best, doing the bare minimum, and at worst, a dimly-witted downgrade. It is still […]

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