Tag: The Daily Show

Epstein’s 50th Birthday Book Reads More Like An Uppity Pedophile’s Manifesto!!!

Fresh off Pete Hegseth’s battle rap loss against decency and douche chills at Trump’s renaming of the “Department of War,” the worst Department of Defense rebranding since the Pentagon tried bangs. House Democrats, the Epstein estate, a retiring Republican, and whatever the fuck Marjorie Taylor Greene is considered post-hard-boil, just released the infamous 50th birthday […]

Read More Epstein’s 50th Birthday Book Reads More Like An Uppity Pedophile’s Manifesto!!!

Donny’s DC Dictatorship Isn’t Only A Distraction, It’s An Insurance Policy For Jan 6th 2029!!!

Donald Trump took time out of his busy schedule of golfing, ballroom renovations, and dodging Epstein questions like a CDC employee taking on Anti-Vax gunfire. To convince America that the best way to make Washington, DC, safe is to pardon 1,500 violent criminals back onto the streets. And since the best remedy to combat crime […]

Read More Donny’s DC Dictatorship Isn’t Only A Distraction, It’s An Insurance Policy For Jan 6th 2029!!!

DOJ Hires Wannabe Cop-Killer Insurrectionist, As Jan 6th Investigators Get Sh*t-Canned By FBI!!!

Kash Patel, fresh off nailing two-thirds of the “Eyes Wide Shut” portion of the secretive Epstein meeting on Wednesday night. Has been tasked with hunting down Texas Democrats in Illinois like a bite-sized Douche the Bounty Hunter, with all the jurisdictional authority of a Walmart Greeter at Bed Bath & Beyond. Not to mention, he’s […]

Read More DOJ Hires Wannabe Cop-Killer Insurrectionist, As Jan 6th Investigators Get Sh*t-Canned By FBI!!!

Nice Try, Fox News, But It’ll Take More Than Sydney Sweeney To Forget Trump’s Pedo-Friendly!!!

Nice try, Fox News, but it’ll take a lot more than Sydney Sweeney’s WMDs (Weapons of Mammary in Denim) to distract America from the fact that our President is at best pedophile-friendly. And spare me all your faux-MAGA outrage because the only blue-eyed blonde with big tits Democrats are bitching about being an advertisement for […]

Read More Nice Try, Fox News, But It’ll Take More Than Sydney Sweeney To Forget Trump’s Pedo-Friendly!!!

Pardon The Interruption?!?

“Queen for the Day” immunity recipient, Ghislaine Maxwell, may also be rewarded with a Trump Presidential Pardon for her newfound ability to recall even the most obscure legal infractions imaginable by a Democrat, despite the gory Trump details portion of her brain getting lobotomized. Or, “The Bottom-Bitch holding up her side of the bribe,” according […]

Read More Pardon The Interruption?!?

Congressional Subpoena Lands Ghislaine Maxwell On The Endangered Species List!!!

Congressman Tim Burchett motioned to subpoena Epstein-Madam and Bottom Bitch, Ghislaine Maxwell, to testify before the House Oversight Committee. A move that not only forced Speaker Johnson to send Congress home early for summer break, giving Marjorie Taylor Greene even more time to shatter her all-time Bourbon Street beads-for-boobs record, but also forced Donald Trump […]

Read More Congressional Subpoena Lands Ghislaine Maxwell On The Endangered Species List!!!

Rare 1991 Video Emerges Of Trump In Full-Blown Donny Diddles Mode!!!

The Meidas Touch Network has been all over the Jeffrey Epstein saga for years. Subscribing to their YouTube channel is not only like having an all-access pass to an Epstein-File release party. But the real reason when Musk tweeted “@realDonaldTrump is in the Epstein Files”, 5+ million people shouted, “No Shit Sherlock!” into an iPhone. […]

Read More Rare 1991 Video Emerges Of Trump In Full-Blown Donny Diddles Mode!!!