Donald Trump can’t stop bragging about a new military weapon he named, “The Discombobulator.” Although, can you really trust Trump’s reviews of its capabilities? Considering he once nicknamed himself “The Fastest Man Alive” after convincing Melania that premature ejaculation was a superpower. However, even when it comes to classified information, Trump can’t help but leak […]
Read More The Discombobulator-In-Chief!!!So, yesterday was Groundhog Day, the only day of the year when the biggest shadow in weather forecasting isn’t Al Roker’s. That honor goes to Punxsutawney Phil. The groundhog ICE mistakenly chased back into a hole after believing its shadow was a minority, which not only means 6 more weeks of winter, but that groundhogs […]
Read More Gabbard Blames Shadow For Groundhog Day Whistleblower Cover-Up!!!The DOJ was obligated by law to release the Epstein files, in their entirety, on December 19th of last year. However, Pam Bondi has intentionally disrespected the law and the sexual abuse survivors left victimized in the wake of a Barbaric Billionaire Boys Club. While, demonstrating an overdue lack of urgency that would shock and […]
Read More The Weaponization Of The Epstein Files!!!Donald Trump, a man who wants to protect Americans from immigrants so much that he’s willing to kill every last citizen just to prove it. Renee Good and Alex Pretti weren’t collateral damage; they were fascism’s strategic write-offs. Pretti WAS however, brandishing a weapon to interfere with an ICE operation. But that operation wasn’t to […]
Read More We’re Being Lied To, We’re Being Murdered…Our Pets Heads Are Falling Off!!!Donald Trump has become more unglued over Greenland than his aging Hand-Aid at a Russian bathhouse tickle tournament. Sending all sorts of creepy late-night texts to the Norwegian Prime Minister and then showing up at Europe’s door uninvited like he’s the 4th Reich. At this point, Trump has built a far stronger case for being […]
Read More Confused Old Man Threatens… ICELAND?!?If Republicans were genuinely scared of illegal migrants spreading across the country faster than measles at a Fort Worth Chuck E Cheese, then why were Governors Greg Abbott, Ron DeSantis, and the rest of the Injustice League shipping immigrants off to Blue States like they were a national guard troop in search of common sense? […]
Read More The Insurrection Act: MAGA’s Final Solution!!!I realize Donald Trump, the main reason the phrase is now “You’ve got to suck a few dicks to make an omelette,” is considered the Russian nesting doll of distractions. However, while most people assume that what you’ll find under all those layers of gross is the pedophilia truth about the Epstein files. I am […]
Read More Is Trump Forcing Maduro To Falsely Admit He Stole The 2020 Election For Biden?!?On the eve of the deadline, I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever redaction Rorschach test we receive in place of the Epstein files, it will feature more black ink than an octopus orgy. I mean, instead of the Epstein files, it should’ve taken an act of Congress to release Ghislaine Maxwell into the general […]
Read More Trump Is Bribing The Military With $1,776 Of The $2.9 Billion He Stole From Them!!!Donald Trump, a man who even betrayed his oath to protect and defend the Epstein Files. Held a rally at the Mount Airy Casino in the Poconos yesterday to discuss the state of the economy. A symbolic gesture, considering that if not for casinos, Trump might never have learned how to bankrupt a country. There, […]
Read More Rip Tan Stinkle Makes It Through An Entire Speech Awake, But Not Woke!!!After the House passed the release of the Epstein files in a 427-1 vote, the Senate invoked unanimous consent and quickly sent the bill over to the White House for signature. Where Trump said, “What’s unanimous consent, and if I sign this, can I invoke it retroactively?” Just kidding; Trump was going all in, with […]
Read More Trump’s Reenactment Of The Epstein Files Ends In A Happy Ending!!!
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