On the eve of the deadline, I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever redaction Rorschach test we receive in place of the Epstein files, it will feature more black ink than an octopus orgy. I mean, instead of the Epstein files, it should’ve taken an act of Congress to release Ghislaine Maxwell into the general […]
Read More Trump Is Bribing The Military With $1,776 Of The $2.9 Billion He Stole From Them!!!Donald Trump, a man who even betrayed his oath to protect and defend the Epstein Files. Held a rally at the Mount Airy Casino in the Poconos yesterday to discuss the state of the economy. A symbolic gesture, considering that if not for casinos, Trump might never have learned how to bankrupt a country. There, […]
Read More Rip Tan Stinkle Makes It Through An Entire Speech Awake, But Not Woke!!!After the House passed the release of the Epstein files in a 427-1 vote, the Senate invoked unanimous consent and quickly sent the bill over to the White House for signature. Where Trump said, “What’s unanimous consent, and if I sign this, can I invoke it retroactively?” Just kidding; Trump was going all in, with […]
Read More Trump’s Reenactment Of The Epstein Files Ends In A Happy Ending!!!Donald Trump announced he will not subvert the release of the Epstein files, but will sure as shit give a full pardon when Pam Bodi does. That’s the thing about pledging loyalty to a Sex Offender: you’re not only forced to kiss Trump’s ass, but to also eat it. Which is nothing compared to the […]
Read More Trump Won’t Derail The Release Of The Epstein Files, But An Open Investigation Will!!!Now that the discharge petition has reached the necessary 218 votes to release the Epstein files, the GOP suddenly realizes they can no longer protect Donald Trump. Sure, their first instinct was to jump into bed with a sex offender, but even Republicans prefer covering their own ass to getting fucked by a pedophile. Which […]
Read More The Groupies Of Pedophiles (GOP) Are Stuck Between A Rock And A Sex Offender!!!Donald Trump, a man who, up until last week, thought the Senate’s “nuclear option” required prior weapons testing and that the filibuster was the wear-and-tear struggle between his cankles and socks. Now knows bipartisanship isn’t reached through healthy debate and negotiation, but by intentionally delaying Democrats’ food assistance and Republicans’ private jets. Sure, helping Trump […]
Read More Someone Is Getting The Band Back Together!!!What do Middle East peace and fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election have in common? They’re the only figments of Donald Trump’s imagination that don’t require an XXX-rating or a non-disclosure agreement. Leave it to Trump to think he could somehow solve more than 100 years of infighting the same way he “Made America Great […]
Read More Turns Out Negotiating Peace Is A Lot Easier On Truth Social Than In The Middle East!!!It’s official, folks, MAGA has entered the Cancel-Culture Karen stage of grief. Now mourning the assassination of self-proclaimed “Free Speech” agitator and contagious far-right fuckboy Charlie Kirk, by demanding to speak to Antifa’s manager. Praying employers will feel so verbally molested by the ear rapist bitching on the other end of the phone about TuckFrump69 […]
Read More MAGA Is At The Cancel-Culture Karen Stage Of Grief!!!Fresh off Pete Hegseth’s battle rap loss against decency and douche chills at Trump’s renaming of the “Department of War,” the worst Department of Defense rebranding since the Pentagon tried bangs. House Democrats, the Epstein estate, a retiring Republican, and whatever the fuck Marjorie Taylor Greene is considered post-hard-boil, just released the infamous 50th birthday […]
Read More Epstein’s 50th Birthday Book Reads More Like An Uppity Pedophile’s Manifesto!!!Donald Trump took time out of blaming the world’s problems on the Biden Autopen to announce a vague and mathematically questionable proposal to lower pharmaceutical prices, claiming, “We will have reduced drug prices by 1,000 percent by 1100, 1200, 1300, 1400, 700, 600. Not 30 or 40 or 50 percent, but numbers the likes of […]
Read More Trump Claims Epstein List Is A Biden Autopen Forgery!!!
THE-ANTI-SOCIAL-MEDIA 