Tag: The Guardian

Over The Last Decade 96% Of All Political Killings Were By Right-Wing Assassins!!!

No matter what JD Vance and Donald Trump say, over the last decade, 96% of all political assassinations have been committed by right-wing extremists. Hot yoga, unflinching morals, and crippling student loan debt from a Fem-lit degree: now that’s some real left-wing-lunatic shit. Sure, there are bad apples in every bunch, but is that probable […]

Read More Over The Last Decade 96% Of All Political Killings Were By Right-Wing Assassins!!!

Lying To Their Radicalized Base May Be Hazardous To MAGA’s Health!!!

Despite all of MAGA’s best efforts, no amount of “Thoughts and Prayers” could turn Charlie Kirk’s assassin into some poster child for liberalism. Or as gerrymandering’s biggest regret Nancy Mace so eloquently put it, “It sounds like the shooter was a tranny.” Even Utah Governor, and magical underoos-sporting Mormon, Spencer Cox, chimed in with his […]

Read More Lying To Their Radicalized Base May Be Hazardous To MAGA’s Health!!!

Epstein’s 50th Birthday Book Reads More Like An Uppity Pedophile’s Manifesto!!!

Fresh off Pete Hegseth’s battle rap loss against decency and douche chills at Trump’s renaming of the “Department of War,” the worst Department of Defense rebranding since the Pentagon tried bangs. House Democrats, the Epstein estate, a retiring Republican, and whatever the fuck Marjorie Taylor Greene is considered post-hard-boil, just released the infamous 50th birthday […]

Read More Epstein’s 50th Birthday Book Reads More Like An Uppity Pedophile’s Manifesto!!!

Anti-Vax Jr’s Policies Will F*ck More Kids Than Trump, Maxwell, And Epstein Combined!!!

RFK Jr., the unfortunate result of the Kennedy Family experimenting with deep fryers during water births, testified before Congress yesterday in his lone article of formal wear not considered Canadian-tuxedo chic. Well, that’s if you can call what took place yesterday, testifying under oath, and not the spot-on imitation of a bullfrog’s panic attack. MAGA […]

Read More Anti-Vax Jr’s Policies Will F*ck More Kids Than Trump, Maxwell, And Epstein Combined!!!

Donny’s DC Dictatorship Isn’t Only A Distraction, It’s An Insurance Policy For Jan 6th 2029!!!

Donald Trump took time out of his busy schedule of golfing, ballroom renovations, and dodging Epstein questions like a CDC employee taking on Anti-Vax gunfire. To convince America that the best way to make Washington, DC, safe is to pardon 1,500 violent criminals back onto the streets. And since the best remedy to combat crime […]

Read More Donny’s DC Dictatorship Isn’t Only A Distraction, It’s An Insurance Policy For Jan 6th 2029!!!

Rare 1991 Video Emerges Of Trump In Full-Blown Donny Diddles Mode!!!

The Meidas Touch Network has been all over the Jeffrey Epstein saga for years. Subscribing to their YouTube channel is not only like having an all-access pass to an Epstein-File release party. But the real reason when Musk tweeted “@realDonaldTrump is in the Epstein Files”, 5+ million people shouted, “No Shit Sherlock!” into an iPhone. […]

Read More Rare 1991 Video Emerges Of Trump In Full-Blown Donny Diddles Mode!!!

Both Democrat And Republican Senators Agree Iran Bombing Did Happen… And That’s About It!!!

The Senate attended a classified briefing on Operation Midnight Hammer, AKA the codename for the US bombing campaign on Iran, and also how Pete Hegseth describes his rigorous late-night masturbatory sessions. And despite both Democrats and Republicans disagreeing along party lines on Trump’s assessment of the bombing’s effectiveness, they did, however, unanimously agree that Trump […]

Read More Both Democrat And Republican Senators Agree Iran Bombing Did Happen… And That’s About It!!!

Trump’s War With Iran Began The Day He Tore Up The US/Iran Nuclear Agreement!!!

Donald Trump may have given the order to bomb 3 Iranian nuclear facilities yesterday. However, this decision was inevitable after he unilaterally tore up the existing nuclear agreement in 2018. And since it gave up all US oversight of Iran’s nuclear program, he has been unsuccessfully trying to replace it ever since. Because, as everyone […]

Read More Trump’s War With Iran Began The Day He Tore Up The US/Iran Nuclear Agreement!!!

Trump’s Ego Baited US Into Conflict After Netanyahu Claimed He Is Iran’s “Enemy #1” Target!!!

When the Israeli attack on the Iranian nuclear infrastructure began, the Trump regime distanced themselves from Israel’s airstrikes so fast you would’ve thought Benjamin Netanyahu’s name had also appeared in the Epstein files. However, within hours, Trump had not only changed his tune, faster than one of his own dirty diapers, on Israel’s military escalation. […]

Read More Trump’s Ego Baited US Into Conflict After Netanyahu Claimed He Is Iran’s “Enemy #1” Target!!!