Last summer, when I wrote, “Trump prays he’s in the Epstein files less than Jesus is in the Bible.” I presumed I was crafting a joke, not foreshadowing a brainless fear-monger’s path like the Wizard of Oz Pearlman. However, since then, the name Donald Trump has appeared in the unredacted Epstein Files over a million times. Which is far more shout-outs than Jesus, Mary, her Little Lamb, or any of the other 727,993 words ever earned in the ‘Homophobe’s Guide To The Galaxy,’ King James Edition. And yet, why do I have this sneaking suspicion that Trump plans to recognize this “achievement” by issuing himself a faux platinum album to hang above his Melania-less waterbed.
The New Republic Article Quoted – https://newrepublic.com/post/206435/raskin-trump-unredacted-epstein-files
In Today’s Palate Cleanser, we learn that when it comes to unifying the country, MAGA holds the Super Bowl Halftime Show to a higher standard than the Presidency. I mean, it’s hard to tell which is worse, claiming a person you can’t understand is divisive or labeling fascism “America First?” Republicans are so dumb, I’m starting to wonder if they asked for Project 2026 to be graded on a curve. Meanwhile, Middle-Aged Rock (A more appropriate description of Kid’s decaying remains) spent his Super Bowl Sunday getting busted for lip-synching his own foreign-language hit “Bawitdaba, da-bang, da-bang, diggy-diggy-diggy.” Proving, the best way to honor Charlie Kirk’s legacy is to also choke on Turning Point USA’s biggest stage.
Now it’s Time to play Kid Rock or Bad Bunny… The game Fox News called, “So Just Google ‘Translate’ and the Gibberish Magically disappears???”
If you guessed Hillbilly Vanilli…Ding..Ding…Ding You’re a winner!!!
Hillbilly Vanilli: “Girl you know it’s true…. OOH..OOH…OOH… I Speak squeal too!!”
Here’s the Kid Rock banger that Rolling Stone once considered: “Enough Probable Cause for a Restraining Order”
…And since I’m out of practice, I will let Guillermo take the lead on Bad Bunny’s “offensive” Lyrics
THE-ANTI-SOCIAL-MEDIA 