Trump One-Ups White House Correspondents’ Dinner Shooter With His Own Bomb!!!

Donald Trump failed miserably at last night’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech, proving once again that the only funny bone in his body is a cankle. Especially now that miniature erections are completely out of the picture. The good news is that although Trump did bomb, zero Iranian schoolgirls were harmed in the process. I […]

Trump’s $1.7+ Billion Dollar Dog Whistle…

It appears Trump isn’t building a ballroom; he’s constructing a billion-dollar panic room he can throw his election-stealing co-conspirators a party in. Meanwhile, this January 6th slush fund isn’t a thank-you for a failed coup attempt; that’s what 1,600-plus get-out-of-jail-free pardons were for. No, this 1.7+ billion dollars of taxpayer money is a down-payment-dog whistle […]

Don’t Worry The Explosions At Two Middle-East Nuclear Facilities Will Be Blamed On Rat Droppings…

Why, when: “Keep it moving, nothing to see here, folks.” is how the blamestream media reacts to a mushroom cloud in the Middle East, do my Spidey-senses scream: “WHAT DID DONNY DO NOW?” Perhaps, it’s because Fox News spent an entire week trying to will a pandemic out of manufactured fear and highly-rated Rat droppings, […]

Keystone K$SH: When Even Drinking ON The Job, Is ON-Brand!!!

When I originally started calling Kash Patel “Keystone K$SH,” I was referring to his inability to do his job like a Keystone Cop, not his inability to remain alcohol-free like a Keystone Light. However, while most people consider “Drinking on the job” a liability, Kash sees things much differently… And not at all because his […]

Exposing America’s First Lady Of The Night!!!

In the words of the great 20th century philosopher Dr. Dre, “And when it all boils down, you gonna find in the end. A bitch is a bitch, but a Dogg is a man’s best friend. So what? You found you a ho that you like? But you can’t make a ho a housewife.” Or […]

Pam Bondi Accidentally Sent Proof Of Trump’s Crimes To Democrats!!!

So it turns out that Pam Bondi mistakenly sent Democrat Jaime Raskin proof that Donald Trump stole super-classified secrets so he could sell them to foreign adversaries. That’s nearly as bad as the time Bondi meant to send her father a copy of her diploma and accidentally texted him the anonymous photo she planned to […]

The Separation Of Church, State, And….

Former Director Of National Counterterrorism Somehow Refrains From Turning Resignation Tweet Anti-Semitic!!!

Another day, another abrupt desertion from the rapidly sinking Trumptanic. After the Director of National Counterterrorism, Joe Kent, bailed on his Conman-in-Chief, Donald Trump. Posting to X that he will be leaving his position, effective immediately. Which is about as courageous as emailing your resignation letter to Elon Musk, so HE can secretly drop it […]

FBI Found Trump’s 13 Year-Old Alleged Rape Victim Credible, But Then Again, Biden WAS Old!!!

If I hear one more talking head preface a story about the Epstein files by saying “To date, there are no credible allegations of wrongdoing by President Trump,” I will go on a dick-snappping spree that’ll make Peyronie’s Disease the leading cause of the new Fleshlight competitor, the Boomer-Wang. If given 10 terms, Nixon couldn’t […]

Trump To Troops: “What Would Jesus Do?”

In case you were wondering how the Trump regime plans to sell Operation Election Fury, the answer all depends on the makeup of their target audience. If you’re an Israeli, it’s about nuclear weapons. If you’re a Republican, it’s about national security. If you’re an Iranian, it’s about regime change. If you’re an American Soldier, […]

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