On the eve of the deadline, I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever redaction Rorschach test we receive in place of the Epstein files, it will feature more black ink than an octopus orgy. I mean, instead of the Epstein files, it should’ve taken an act of Congress to release Ghislaine Maxwell into the general […]
Read More Trump Is Bribing The Military With $1,776 Of The $2.9 Billion He Stole From Them!!!Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, pictured below with resting Paula-Dean-on-Bath-Salts’ face, went viral after being the first Trump official caught on record openly telling the truth. Spilling the MAGA tea to Vanity Fair about Trump’s ‘alcoholic personality’, Vance’s ‘Conspiracy’ Theories, and Musk’s ‘avowed ketamine use,’ and yet not one mention of Karolying Leavitt’s lips having […]
Read More Girl’s Gone Wiles!!!Donald Trump, a man who even betrayed his oath to protect and defend the Epstein Files. Held a rally at the Mount Airy Casino in the Poconos yesterday to discuss the state of the economy. A symbolic gesture, considering that if not for casinos, Trump might never have learned how to bankrupt a country. There, […]
Read More Rip Tan Stinkle Makes It Through An Entire Speech Awake, But Not Woke!!!Donald Trump, a man who even overthrows governments, America First. Now plans to give “Winning” the War on Drugs what 2011 called the “Charlie Sheen-Try.” Don’t get me wrong, fentanyl should be considered a weapon of mass destruction. Something so deadly it can be used by Republicans to start a war under false pretenses. However, […]
Read More Venezuela Couldn’t Kill A Headache With The Amount Of Fentanyl They Produce!!!Donald Trump recently received FIFA’s first-ever Peace Prize. An award ceremony with all the pomp and circumstance of the Oscars and the prestige of finding a Female Body Inspector (FBI) T-shirt in the Hooters’ dumpster. Because the only international sports organization award Trump is earning on merit is a participation medal from the Special Olympics. […]
Read More Trump, First War Criminal Awarded Participation Peace Prize!!!Donald Trump, a man who turned the “War on Drugs” into target practice for war criminals. Recently pardoned former Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernandez, who smuggled more than 400 tons of cocaine into the US and, in the process, turned his blowhole into his cellmate’s favorite snow globe. Perhaps that amount of Honduran marching powder […]
Read More Trump Pardons Honduran Drug Trafficker!!!Donald Trump slept through most of yesterday’s cabinet meeting, or as Fox News is reporting, ‘Displayed anti-woke leadership.’ But what did this cabinet expect, scheduling their circle jerk during the mid-day nap of Rip Tan Stinkle? It speaks volumes when a sex offender would rather fart himself to sleep than enjoy a happy ending from […]
Read More Rip Tan Stinkle Passed Out Before His Cabinet Meeting Happy Ending!!!A recent report prepared by active and retired FBI agents characterized Kash Patel as an insecure little bitch whose overall vibe is: kids’ table tantrum. If only the thin blue line between saving the day and shitting the bed was an emotional support windbreaker in a women’s smedium. However, Keystone Kash isn’t the FBI Director […]
Read More FBI Report Claims Keystone Kash Is An Insecure Smedium!!!If you want further proof that MAGA loyalty is an oxymoron like jumbo shrimp or conservative comedian, look no further than Marjorie Taylor Greene. The MAGA Karen who never met a Democrat she didn’t want to arm wrestle to death. Until House Republicans began the Peyton Manning of all pedophilia cover-ups: You know the kind, […]
Read More MTG: From Dancing With The Devil, To Dancing With The Stars!!!Most people who start fights and heckle comics at 1 am call themselves an Uber, not a Nobel Peace Prize candidate. However, the only thing Donald Trump likes more than starting a conflict is taking undeserved credit for ending one between two countries he would rather tariff than pronounce. Leave it to Donald Trump to […]
Read More That’ll Do Pig… That’ll Do!!!
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