Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, pictured below with resting Paula-Dean-on-Bath-Salts’ face, went viral after being the first Trump official caught on record openly telling the truth. Spilling the MAGA tea to Vanity Fair about Trump’s ‘alcoholic personality’, Vance’s ‘Conspiracy’ Theories, and Musk’s ‘avowed ketamine use,’ and yet not one mention of Karolying Leavitt’s lips having […]
Read More Girl’s Gone Wiles!!!Donald Trump, a man who turned the “War on Drugs” into target practice for war criminals. Recently pardoned former Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernandez, who smuggled more than 400 tons of cocaine into the US and, in the process, turned his blowhole into his cellmate’s favorite snow globe. Perhaps that amount of Honduran marching powder […]
Read More Trump Pardons Honduran Drug Trafficker!!!Karoline Leavitt took time out of deflecting Epstein questions to blame Trump’s sudden cankle-to-thankle* downgrade (*thigh-sized ankle) and skin falling off like a wet Band-Aid, on a minor vein condition. That is apparently brought on by a vigorous regimen of aspirin, handshakes, and a refusal to admit when your diaper is dirty. A prognosis that […]
Read More Cankles: The Trump Update No One Wanted!!!Congratulations, Donald Trump; thanks to you, the 4th of July can now be associated with a net loss of US independence from tyrannical twats. Considering ten years from now, people won’t be getting blackout drunk at 4th of July parties to celebrate Independence Day but to forget how Trump’s Billionaire Blowjob Bill killed more innocent […]
Read More Congress Passes Trump’s Billionaire Blowjob Bill!!!I must start today’s article on a rather somber note. I need to make a retraction to something I wrote yesterday in regards to Trump’s latest poach from the Fox News un-stable of bitches “talent,” Jeanine Piro. I regret to say that when I referred to her as “the inspiration for Propaganda Karen Barbie,” I misspoke. […]
Read More On Today’s Episode Of, “UGH…They’re The Worst,” W.H. Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt!!!So what’s the point of even having elections if every sore loser will lie, cheat, steal, bitch, and moan until they get the results they desire? This entire scenario sounds much more like corruption than a conflict of interest. MAGA NC Supreme Court Justices overturning the results of a free and fair election over politics […]
Read More After Losing 3 Recounts, MAGA Overturns NC Supreme Court Election, Throwing Out 60K+ Legal Votes!!!Donald Trump was a noticeable no-show yesterday at all his scheduled public speaking engagements. Of course, his absence conveniently coincided with the stock market dropping at the same alarming rate as his approval ratings. Thankfully, the American public got a much-needed day off from Trump’s nauseating false hope and economic empty promises. I’m starting to […]
Read More Eggs Benedict Arnold Cancels His Appearances As Stock Markets Decline!!!JD Vance’s Vermont vacation was a disaster thanks to outspoken backlash over his display of MAGA fascism. Those protesting made it abundantly clear that the Green Mountains are much bluer than they appear on social media. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised with the quality and quantity of outrage he encountered. Considering, for now, […]
Read More Sugar Bush Proves To Be A Sticky Situation For Vance And His Family!!!Besides The popularity of the “Jersey Shore,” the argument over “Is Jimmy Hoffa buried under Giant Stadium?” and why the entire state smells like a nonstop dumpster fire, there are many unresolved questions surrounding the not-so-great state of New Jersey. So many, in fact, that they have compiled and dedicated clickbait lists to this very […]
Read More Add Drones To The Long List Of New Jersey’s Mysteries!!!
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