Tag: CNN

Is Ghislaine Maxwell’s Legal Winning Streak Payment For Her Silence?!?

It appears that while Ghislaine Maxwell plays chess, Donald Trump chews the Connect Four box open. Considering Trump fired the lead federal prosecutor on both the Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell sex trafficking cases, Maurene Comey, from the Department of Justice. For some totally legitimate reason, like she knows too much, or her FBI Director […]

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FEMA’s Texas Response Slowed Because Cosplay Kristi’s Scuba Gear Was Lost In The Attic!!!

It turns out that when young girls were being swept away from camp cots by deadly Texas flood waters, FEMA search and rescue teams were forced to sit on their thumbs for 72 hours waiting for Cosplay Kristi Noem to sign off on their deployment. However, it turns out she was far too busy asking […]

Read More FEMA’s Texas Response Slowed Because Cosplay Kristi’s Scuba Gear Was Lost In The Attic!!!

Habeas Corpus Denier Kristi Noem Challenges Harvard’s Grasp Of The Law!!!

Kristi Noem, fresh off proving her understanding of constitutional law, wasn’t nearly as extensive as her collection of bedazzled bulletproof vests after getting wedgied in front of Congress by the definition of habeas corpus. And while the shame alone would debilitate most, it somehow didn’t discourage the c#nty cosplay queen from taking on Harvard Law’s […]

Read More Habeas Corpus Denier Kristi Noem Challenges Harvard’s Grasp Of The Law!!!

Trump Interrupts His Bullsh*t Claims Of White Genocide To Call The Press Fake News!!!

Trump flipped the fuck out on a reporter yesterday after asking a reasonable question everyone, including the South African President, busy getting slandered, wanted an answer to. Ironically, Trump called NBC’s Peter Alexander “Fake News” for interrupting his baseless MAGA make-believe presentation. But obviously, Donald got genuinely upset when the romantic mood lighting and nonexistent […]

Read More Trump Interrupts His Bullsh*t Claims Of White Genocide To Call The Press Fake News!!!

RFK Jr Testified Under Oath To Congress That He’s Completely Full Of Sh*t!!!

RFK JR, the unfortunate fallout of the Kennedy family now being gun-shy about lobotomies, testified under oath to Congress, “I don’t think people should be taking medical advice from me.” Quite a shocking revelation for a man whose existence revolves entirely around spreading unsolicited medical disinformation like a defective Dr. Know-It-All. Well then, what’s next? […]

Read More RFK Jr Testified Under Oath To Congress That He’s Completely Full Of Sh*t!!!

Does A $2 Billion Investment Into MAGA Madoff’s Crypto Get UAE A Sweetheart Tariff Deal?!?

Trump’s trade war has made about as much sense as scouting for a reliable babysitter off the sex offender registry. So, these tariffs would make much more sense if they were extortion tactics to add commas to Trump’s bank balance rather than revenge for some nonsensical trade deficit. It’s no secret that cryptocurrency is the […]

Read More Does A $2 Billion Investment Into MAGA Madoff’s Crypto Get UAE A Sweetheart Tariff Deal?!?

ABC Interview Exposes Trump’s Toddler-Level Comprehension And Accountability!!!

I’m not sure what I found more alarming about last night’s ABC interview with Donald Trump, interviewer Terry Moran fact-checking a bald-faced lie with the phrase “Let’s agree to disagree” or witnessing a dipshit’s learning curve in real-time as the POTUS figured out the meaning of Photoshop on live television. Now, despite this being a […]

Read More ABC Interview Exposes Trump’s Toddler-Level Comprehension And Accountability!!!

The Only Difference Between A Trump Cabinet Meeting And A Cult Is The Flavor of Kool-Aid Served!!!

I realize people don’t often comprehend they are part of a cult until it’s far too late. So, much like the victims of the Jonestown Massacre, Trump’s Cabinet Members won’t realize the joke’s on them until they reach the punchline. You would think that after Trump single-handedly destroyed the world’s economy, the President’s closest advisors […]

Read More The Only Difference Between A Trump Cabinet Meeting And A Cult Is The Flavor of Kool-Aid Served!!!

Trump’s 90-Day Tariff Pause Is The Art Of The Steal, Not Deal!!!

Insider trading’s only considered a victimless crime when you’re the Wolf of Wall Street, not a whack-job in the West Wing. And please spare me all your “But the Pelosis are profiteering” whataboutism tears. Sure, I will gladly hydrate myself all day long with them. However, manufacturing a worldwide economic collapse for personal gain and […]

Read More Trump’s 90-Day Tariff Pause Is The Art Of The Steal, Not Deal!!!