Donald Trump slept through most of yesterday’s cabinet meeting, or as Fox News is reporting, ‘Displayed anti-woke leadership.’ But what did this cabinet expect, scheduling their circle jerk during the mid-day nap of Rip Tan Stinkle? It speaks volumes when a sex offender would rather fart himself to sleep than enjoy a happy ending from […]
Read More Rip Tan Stinkle Passed Out Before His Cabinet Meeting Happy Ending!!!After the House passed the release of the Epstein files in a 427-1 vote, the Senate invoked unanimous consent and quickly sent the bill over to the White House for signature. Where Trump said, “What’s unanimous consent, and if I sign this, can I invoke it retroactively?” Just kidding; Trump was going all in, with […]
Read More Trump’s Reenactment Of The Epstein Files Ends In A Happy Ending!!!Ever since Zohran Mamdani won back control of New York City from a billion rats and Sex Luther. Donald Trump has been treating the affordability crisis like the boy who cried communism. Despite Trump planning his own redistribution of America’s wealth, one $2000-taxpayer-bribe at a time. What’s the difference between socialism and a $2000 Trump […]
Read More MAGA Mamdani: Making Nazis Socialists Again!!!Has anyone else noticed that Marjorie Taylor Greene has been demanding the release of the Epstein Files and blaming the GOP for the government shutdown, and John Fetterman’s day is spent trashing Democrats on Fox News? Which begs the question: Are MTG and Fetterman involved in some sorta bipartisan body swap, like “Freaky Friday,” but […]
Read More Is There A White Trash Freaky Friday Happening In Congress?!?What do an election booth and a Mar-A-Lago swimming pool have in common? Donald Trump will do everything in his power to keep them minority free. And next week’s elections will be his first dress rehearsal for turning a campaign threat into a Dictator’s promise. Because Donald Trump didn’t just steal 230 million dollars of […]
Read More Next Week Is Trump’s Election-Stealing Dress Rehearsal!!!You would assume Donald Trump would have a lot more in common with a bunch of land-owning white guys who didn’t want to pay taxes and thought minorities shouldn’t vote. Yet, if you’ve read the American Founding Fathers’ Declaration of Independence, it sounds more like Jefferson’s 1-star Yelp review of Trump’s presidency. Trump has so […]
Read More The Declaration Of Independence Reads Like A 1-Star Yelp Review Of Trump’s Presidency!!!What do Middle East peace and fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election have in common? They’re the only figments of Donald Trump’s imagination that don’t require an XXX-rating or a non-disclosure agreement. Leave it to Trump to think he could somehow solve more than 100 years of infighting the same way he “Made America Great […]
Read More Turns Out Negotiating Peace Is A Lot Easier On Truth Social Than In The Middle East!!!Speaker Mike Johnson (a man so unlikeably religious he says grace before eating ass) speaks to the press about Donald Trump as though he’s bragging about some smoking-hot Canadian girlfriend that just doesn’t exist. Which is sad for multiple reasons, but mainly because we all know Trump, and we’d trade that fat POS for the […]
Read More Trump: If Government Shutdowns Are This Fun, Perhaps I Should’ve Read Project 2025!!!Congratulations, Donald Trump, even being judged, on a pig-who-ate-his-own-blanket scale, you’re still a fucking meathead. This entire Trump misnomer, Portland, Oregon, “is in shambles,” all started a few weeks back when Fox News mistakenly aired footage from the 2020 BLM protests, and like any dementia-riddled Grandma seeing an AI image for the first time, Trump […]
Read More Thanks To Fox News, Trump Declared War On Portland To Stop The 2020 Protests!!!There you have it, folks; case closed. You can officially indict a ham sandwich. Well, that’s only if Donald Trump were an Authoritarian Vegan. Or if former FBI Director James Comey were eating a ham salad on rye at the time of his arrest. Then, Lindsey Halligan could slap it with one count of aiding […]
Read More Former FBI Director James Comey, Today, US v Ham Sandwich, Tomorrow?!?
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