Donald Trump, a man who, up until last week, thought the Senate’s “nuclear option” required prior weapons testing and that the filibuster was the wear-and-tear struggle between his cankles and socks. Now knows bipartisanship isn’t reached through healthy debate and negotiation, but by intentionally delaying Democrats’ food assistance and Republicans’ private jets. Sure, helping Trump […]
Read More Someone Is Getting The Band Back Together!!!The government shutdown is unofficially over. Republicans can finally celebrate losing healthcare for millions of Americans, unlike Democrats, who couldn’t make it an entire week without accidentally shooting the country in the dick again. Although Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer will sleep soundly knowing that the Shutdown is nearing its end. Now that his imaginary […]
Read More Congratulations, Chuck Schumer; At Least, The Baileys Are Happy!!!Has anyone else noticed that Marjorie Taylor Greene has been demanding the release of the Epstein Files and blaming the GOP for the government shutdown, and John Fetterman’s day is spent trashing Democrats on Fox News? Which begs the question: Are MTG and Fetterman involved in some sorta bipartisan body swap, like “Freaky Friday,” but […]
Read More Is There A White Trash Freaky Friday Happening In Congress?!?The government shutdown has entered day 30, which not only means air traffic controllers and SNAP recipients won’t be getting paid, but that ICE is now officially hunting brown people out of the kindness of their hearts. Just kidding, Homeland Security has authorized a special “super check” for all ICE agents that not only covers […]
Read More Hunting Brown People Remains Trump’s Top Priority, While Feeding Children, Not So Much!!!Speaker Mike Johnson (a man so unlikeably religious he says grace before eating ass) speaks to the press about Donald Trump as though he’s bragging about some smoking-hot Canadian girlfriend that just doesn’t exist. Which is sad for multiple reasons, but mainly because we all know Trump, and we’d trade that fat POS for the […]
Read More Trump: If Government Shutdowns Are This Fun, Perhaps I Should’ve Read Project 2025!!!With the United States government shutting its doors for the first time since 2020, back when it contracted Covid and a debilitating strain of Democrat Derangement Syndrome, both from Donald Trump. That, to this day, is considered fact-resistant and highly contagious among the unvaccinated and the dumb fuck community overall. The GOP has once again […]
Read More Welcome To Trump’s Government ShutShow!!!Donald Trump took time out of his busy, shutting-down-the-government schedule (or, as he prefers to call forcing people to work without pay, “The Art of the Steal!”) to gather all the US Generals stationed around the globe for whatever the fuck a “Warriors’ Ethos Pep Rally” means. Well, as it turns out, labeling an Authoritarianism […]
Read More Trump’s Military Frowns Upon Beards, Fatsos, Women, Americans, And N-Words!!!
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