Now that the discharge petition has reached the necessary 218 votes to release the Epstein files, the GOP suddenly realizes they can no longer protect Donald Trump. Sure, their first instinct was to jump into bed with a sex offender, but even Republicans prefer covering their own ass to getting fucked by a pedophile. Which […]
Read More The Groupies Of Pedophiles (GOP) Are Stuck Between A Rock And A Sex Offender!!!Donald Trump threw himself a “Great Gatsby” themed party the night before SNAP benefits would dry up for 42 million food-insecure Americans, titled: “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody.” A name that not only ignores the potential starvation of millions but also contradicts F. Scott Fitzgerald’s point entirely. Which is ironic, because empathy is usually […]
Read More Mar-A-Lago’s ‘A Little Party Never Killed Nobody’ Bender Kicked-Off Trump’s First Hunger Games!!!It’s rather apparent that at yesterday morning’s MAGA meeting, not only did Donald Trump smell like he had just left a hard-boiled egg and onion, after they all crumbled a feta block’s soul during a gang bang, but he also told his army of talking heads to go forth and scream from high atop the […]
Read More 🎶 It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Russia 🎶Kash Patel, fresh off nailing two-thirds of the “Eyes Wide Shut” portion of the secretive Epstein meeting on Wednesday night. Has been tasked with hunting down Texas Democrats in Illinois like a bite-sized Douche the Bounty Hunter, with all the jurisdictional authority of a Walmart Greeter at Bed Bath & Beyond. Not to mention, he’s […]
Read More DOJ Hires Wannabe Cop-Killer Insurrectionist, As Jan 6th Investigators Get Sh*t-Canned By FBI!!!Heading into New York City’s Democratic primary for Mayor, former NY Governor, and guy who hugs your wife way too long at charity events, Andrew Cuomo was heavily favored. However, democratic voters proved if there’s one MAGA characteristic they would implement themselves, it’s ignoring qualifications, not reelecting a sexual predator. As they handed 33-year-old Zohran […]
Read More Unlike MAGA, NYC Dems Prefer Their Perves Remain On Sex Offender Lists, Not Ballots!!!Last week at this time, Donald Trump was busy telling anyone who could stomach being lied to again that he was not only negotiating an Iran nuclear agreement to replace the one he tore up out of perverse Obama-envy. But he also refused to say the word “erect” at his ceremonial pole raising, out of fear, […]
Read More MAGA Dumb-Dumbs Think Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize Is A Lock After Midnight Hammer Bombing Of Iran!!!Two-week Trump strikes again, and by strike, I mean sits on his thumb and hopes everyone will be talking about how he fucked-up something much more significant fourteen days from now. For someone so thoughtless, Trump requires an awful lot of time to formulate the shittiest excuses imaginable. This guy says “Two weeks” so much […]
Read More Two-Week Trump, TACOs Again!!!Pam Bondi, Florida’s biggest regret and the source of Freddy Krueger’s nightmare-fueled Ambien addiction, not only announced Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s sudden return but convinced a grand jury carpooling is now a federal crime. However, like her roots, Pam Blondi’s press conferences are a hot mess. Obnoxiously lying like a Mar-A-Largo Persian rug with more tells […]
Read More Funny How Carpool Kilmar Is Back Just In Time To Squash The Trump/Musk Beef!!!This week, Dan Bongino and Kash Patel appeared on Fox News to discuss their new gigs heading up the FBI. But somehow, this dipshit duo turned a couple propaganda puff pieces heading into the midterms into viral campaign ads for the Democrats. Bongino looked and sounded more like he was filming a hostage video than […]
Read More The Trump Regime Is Way Out Of It’s Depth!!!By all accounts, Elon “DOGE Bagalow” Musk is suffering severe buyer’s remorse at the exorbitant cost of Trump’s Baby Back Bitch Bill. Apparently, the wealthiest man in the world was blindsided after learning voluntarily raw-dogging the entire working class for self-serving tax benefits could somehow be turned into something greedy. Leave it to Trump’s simpleton-savant […]
Read More DOGE Bagalow’s Buyer’s Remorse Vs TACO’s Baby Back Bitch Bill!!!
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