So, yesterday was Groundhog Day, the only day of the year when the biggest shadow in weather forecasting isn’t Al Roker’s. That honor goes to Punxsutawney Phil. The groundhog ICE mistakenly chased back into a hole after believing its shadow was a minority, which not only means 6 more weeks of winter, but that groundhogs […]
Read More Gabbard Blames Shadow For Groundhog Day Whistleblower Cover-Up!!!Trump’s immigration enforcement has clearly hit an ICE-berg and is rapidly taking on more water than his lower limbs. But instead of going down with the ship, Trump’s band of MAGA misfits has turned on one another faster than the Gallagher Brothers in an Oasis Crime Family. However, Kristi Noem hand-picked Greg Bovino, which, in […]
Read More Trouble In Parad-ICE?!?Yesterday, an innocent woman was gunned down by ICE, the most cold-blooded of all of Trump’s misfit toys. As Renee Nicole Good was simply going about her business, as most American women do: rushing her kid off to school so she can spend the rest of her day pissing me off in traffic. Sadly, no […]
Read More Get The F*ck Out Of Our Cities, ICE-IS Terrorists!!!After Donald Trump said he wouldn’t stop MAGA from voting their conscience, all but Congressman Clay Higgins voted to release the Epstein files. A turnout that not only convinced Clay Higgins to unmute his GOP Signal chat but also solidified the deportation of Trump’s “Reverse-Psychology Guy.” Sure, Democrats never believe a word Trump says, and […]
Read More Clay Higgins Earns Coveted NAMBLA Endorsement!!!Has anyone else noticed that Marjorie Taylor Greene has been demanding the release of the Epstein Files and blaming the GOP for the government shutdown, and John Fetterman’s day is spent trashing Democrats on Fox News? Which begs the question: Are MTG and Fetterman involved in some sorta bipartisan body swap, like “Freaky Friday,” but […]
Read More Is There A White Trash Freaky Friday Happening In Congress?!?Donald Trump is traveling to the Middle East, not only to sign a Hamas-Israeli peace agreement, but to officially call dibs on the Gaza coastline and rename it Trump’s Noble Beach Prize. However, when it comes to ending the war, it’s obvious Trump also has some non-Nobel Peace Prize ulterior motives. After all, when asked […]
Read More Trump Plans To Call Dibs On The Gaza Coast And Rename It Trump’s Noble Beach Prize!!!Kash Patel, fresh off nailing two-thirds of the “Eyes Wide Shut” portion of the secretive Epstein meeting on Wednesday night. Has been tasked with hunting down Texas Democrats in Illinois like a bite-sized Douche the Bounty Hunter, with all the jurisdictional authority of a Walmart Greeter at Bed Bath & Beyond. Not to mention, he’s […]
Read More DOJ Hires Wannabe Cop-Killer Insurrectionist, As Jan 6th Investigators Get Sh*t-Canned By FBI!!!With the DOJ’s cover-up of Trump’s bromance with Sex-Trafficker-to-the-Stars Jeffery Epstein, transitioning from the Fingers-Crossed-The-Press-Doesn’t-Ask-Any-Epstein-Questions stage to the Well-Since-That-Didn’t-Work-How-Can-We-Blame-Biden stage. Elon Musk continues to act as most jealous exes do: by publicly accusing his former lover and his squad of shady sidekicks of displaying NAMBLA tendencies. After saving a comfy seat for Steve Bannon under […]
Read More Congrats MAGA, You Didn’t Dismantle A Pedophile Deep State, You Created One!!!Last week at this time, Donald Trump was busy telling anyone who could stomach being lied to again that he was not only negotiating an Iran nuclear agreement to replace the one he tore up out of perverse Obama-envy. But he also refused to say the word “erect” at his ceremonial pole raising, out of fear, […]
Read More MAGA Dumb-Dumbs Think Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize Is A Lock After Midnight Hammer Bombing Of Iran!!!David Richardson, FEMA’s Acting Administrator and incestual offspring of “Vigo the Carpathian,” the evil painting from Ghostbusters 2, said he thought hurricane season was nothing more than a myth like the female orgasm or American democracy. I guess it’s hard to comprehend how a storm cycle could have a start and end date if you’re a […]
Read More Have You Heard FEMA’s Hurricane Hilarious, David Richardson’s Latest Joke?!?
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