Donald Trump announced he will not subvert the release of the Epstein files, but will sure as shit give a full pardon when Pam Bodi does. That’s the thing about pledging loyalty to a Sex Offender: you’re not only forced to kiss Trump’s ass, but to also eat it. Which is nothing compared to the […]
Read More Trump Won’t Derail The Release Of The Epstein Files, But An Open Investigation Will!!!Attorney General and inspiration for MAGA Cunt Barbie, Pam Bondi, proved once again why she is so uniquely qualified to be Matt Gaetz’s Sloppy-Seconds. Bleach Bondi arrived at yesterday’s Senate hearings armed with only a notebook, her personality, and looks, all of which can be described as even more damaging to the evil stepmom image […]
Read More Bleach Bondi Goes Full “Mean Girls” At Hearing After Photos Reveal Her Senator Burn Book!!!There you have it, folks; case closed. You can officially indict a ham sandwich. Well, that’s only if Donald Trump were an Authoritarian Vegan. Or if former FBI Director James Comey were eating a ham salad on rye at the time of his arrest. Then, Lindsey Halligan could slap it with one count of aiding […]
Read More Former FBI Director James Comey, Today, US v Ham Sandwich, Tomorrow?!?Donald Trump is at it again, no, not having sex with children, but on a sliding scale of legality, this particular conduct falls somewhere between Watergate and O.J. Simpson. It all started with what the kids are calling a “Boomer” moment. You know, when you’re shit talking someone you work with to your ride or […]
Read More Donald Trump Threatens Pam Bondi Via DM…OOPS, Check That, He Accidentally Posted It To Truth Social!!!Fresh off Pete Hegseth’s battle rap loss against decency and douche chills at Trump’s renaming of the “Department of War,” the worst Department of Defense rebranding since the Pentagon tried bangs. House Democrats, the Epstein estate, a retiring Republican, and whatever the fuck Marjorie Taylor Greene is considered post-hard-boil, just released the infamous 50th birthday […]
Read More Epstein’s 50th Birthday Book Reads More Like An Uppity Pedophile’s Manifesto!!!Kash Patel, fresh off nailing two-thirds of the “Eyes Wide Shut” portion of the secretive Epstein meeting on Wednesday night. Has been tasked with hunting down Texas Democrats in Illinois like a bite-sized Douche the Bounty Hunter, with all the jurisdictional authority of a Walmart Greeter at Bed Bath & Beyond. Not to mention, he’s […]
Read More DOJ Hires Wannabe Cop-Killer Insurrectionist, As Jan 6th Investigators Get Sh*t-Canned By FBI!!!Congressman Tim Burchett motioned to subpoena Epstein-Madam and Bottom Bitch, Ghislaine Maxwell, to testify before the House Oversight Committee. A move that not only forced Speaker Johnson to send Congress home early for summer break, giving Marjorie Taylor Greene even more time to shatter her all-time Bourbon Street beads-for-boobs record, but also forced Donald Trump […]
Read More Congressional Subpoena Lands Ghislaine Maxwell On The Endangered Species List!!!Trump’s name appeared in the Epstein files more than the Bible referred to Jesus H Christ. So, it’s not surprising, in the case of the Billionaire Diddler, Pam Bondi couldn’t find any evidence of corruption. Considering, like Waze directions from the White House to Mar-A-Lago, all roads lead back to Donald Trump. And in MAGA […]
Read More Stay Tuned For The DOJ Press Release: “Bondi Determines, JFK Gunshot Wound; Self-Inflicted”!!!
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