Sure, Donald Trump has an “America First” agenda, but so did Osama Bin Laden, and I don’t remember Fox News calling him “Patriotic”. I mean, allowing Qatar’s Air Force to set up shop in Idaho might be good news for the state’s lone Halal grocery shop, “Atta Boy’s,” but not so much for the residents […]
Read More A Qatari Air Force Base In Idaho Is Sending Some Serious “America First” Mixed Messages!!!Speaker Mike Johnson (a man so unlikeably religious he says grace before eating ass) speaks to the press about Donald Trump as though he’s bragging about some smoking-hot Canadian girlfriend that just doesn’t exist. Which is sad for multiple reasons, but mainly because we all know Trump, and we’d trade that fat POS for the […]
Read More Trump: If Government Shutdowns Are This Fun, Perhaps I Should’ve Read Project 2025!!!Donald Trump took time out of cancelling Tylenol (since it must be a woke drug, if it’s pronounced, “Ass-eat-o-many-men”), to address the UN’s General Assembly in what’s being called President Biden’s best speech in years. And, in case you missed it, it was Trump’s most embarrassing performance to date, which is no small accomplishment for […]
Read More Trump’s UN Address Is Being Called President Biden’s Best Speech In Years!!!Donald Trump who said he would know within the first few minutes if it would be a good or bad meeting with Vladimir Putin. Must have caught some serious do-me vibes on the tarmac from the Russian war criminal, considering Trump greeted him like any obedient dog after an extended absence from its master. I […]
Read More The Free World To Putin And Trump: “Get A Room, Fellas!”It turns out that when young girls were being swept away from camp cots by deadly Texas flood waters, FEMA search and rescue teams were forced to sit on their thumbs for 72 hours waiting for Cosplay Kristi Noem to sign off on their deployment. However, it turns out she was far too busy asking […]
Read More FEMA’s Texas Response Slowed Because Cosplay Kristi’s Scuba Gear Was Lost In The Attic!!!Whether it’s being the leading cause of the worldwide COVID spread, defunding cancer research, dismantling FEMA, cutting Medicare, food assistance, climate change protections, or a myriad of other lifesaving programs, Donald Trump is racking up a body count similar to other preventable disasters like the slave trade, world wars, or Christianity. So when blame inevitably […]
Read More Add Texas Flood Victims To Trump’s Growing Body Count!!!Yesterday, all hell broke loose between Donald Trump and Elon Musk, and by “All hell broke loose,” I mean two emotionally impotent men were alternating hissy fits over social media like they were dueling banjos. And in case you were wondering, that resonating awkward silence you felt was either Morons involuntarily re-entering reality’s atmosphere or […]
Read More Shock And AWWWWWW….. Yeah!!!Donald Trump has officially lost the plot, now claiming President Biden was executed back in 2020 and somehow replaced with a clone/robot. And despite the evident scientific discrepancies between the two, that will no doubt have sci-fi nerds everywhere losing their collective shit. It does once again prove that no matter how certifiably crazy Trump’s […]
Read More The Biden Clone-Bot Coverage Highlights The Media’s Glaring Presidential Double Standard!!!Elon Musk showed up at the White House yesterday the way most people arrive at their intervention, sporting a fresh black eye and dressed like he had just hitchhiked from a club promoter’s funeral. So it was no surprise when The NY Times reported that Elon Musk was hopped up on so much Ketamine during […]
Read More If Peeing Your Pants Is Cool, Then Consider Musk, Miles Davis!!!JD Vance, MAGA’s Patron Saint of Monotony, made an unsolicited return to Rome yesterday to crash Pope Leo’s inaugural mass. After a prior Pope Francis encounter proved so tedious that Medical Examiners determined that the boredom alone ultimately drained the will to beat out of the Pope’s heart. So, once it became publicized that newly […]
Read More JD Vance Crashed Pope Leo’s Inaugural Mass!!!
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