Tag: SNL

Mar-A-Lago’s ‘A Little Party Never Killed Nobody’ Bender Kicked-Off Trump’s First Hunger Games!!!

Donald Trump threw himself a “Great Gatsby” themed party the night before SNAP benefits would dry up for 42 million food-insecure Americans, titled: “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody.” A name that not only ignores the potential starvation of millions but also contradicts F. Scott Fitzgerald’s point entirely. Which is ironic, because empathy is usually […]

Read More Mar-A-Lago’s ‘A Little Party Never Killed Nobody’ Bender Kicked-Off Trump’s First Hunger Games!!!

Turns Out Negotiating Peace Is A Lot Easier On Truth Social Than In The Middle East!!!

What do Middle East peace and fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election have in common? They’re the only figments of Donald Trump’s imagination that don’t require an XXX-rating or a non-disclosure agreement. Leave it to Trump to think he could somehow solve more than 100 years of infighting the same way he “Made America Great […]

Read More Turns Out Negotiating Peace Is A Lot Easier On Truth Social Than In The Middle East!!!

Donald Trump Plans To Kill As Many People As It Takes To Reach Peace!!!

Donald Trump is so laser-focused on receiving a Nobel Prize that he’s willing to kill everyone who stands between him and peace. Much like DC Comics’ antihero PeaceMaker, except Trump is much fatter, dumber, and instead of PeaceMaker’s cool helmet and bald eagle sidekick, PeaceMAGA wears a dirty diaper and has a bald asshole named […]

Read More Donald Trump Plans To Kill As Many People As It Takes To Reach Peace!!!

Trump Plans To Call Dibs On The Gaza Coast And Rename It Trump’s Noble Beach Prize!!!

Donald Trump is traveling to the Middle East, not only to sign a Hamas-Israeli peace agreement, but to officially call dibs on the Gaza coastline and rename it Trump’s Noble Beach Prize. However, when it comes to ending the war, it’s obvious Trump also has some non-Nobel Peace Prize ulterior motives. After all, when asked […]

Read More Trump Plans To Call Dibs On The Gaza Coast And Rename It Trump’s Noble Beach Prize!!!

A Qatari Air Force Base In Idaho Is Sending Some Serious “America First” Mixed Messages!!!

Sure, Donald Trump has an “America First” agenda, but so did Osama Bin Laden, and I don’t remember Fox News calling him “Patriotic”. I mean, allowing Qatar’s Air Force to set up shop in Idaho might be good news for the state’s lone Halal grocery shop, “Atta Boy’s,” but not so much for the residents […]

Read More A Qatari Air Force Base In Idaho Is Sending Some Serious “America First” Mixed Messages!!!

Trump: If Government Shutdowns Are This Fun, Perhaps I Should’ve Read Project 2025!!!

Speaker Mike Johnson (a man so unlikeably religious he says grace before eating ass) speaks to the press about Donald Trump as though he’s bragging about some smoking-hot Canadian girlfriend that just doesn’t exist. Which is sad for multiple reasons, but mainly because we all know Trump, and we’d trade that fat POS for the […]

Read More Trump: If Government Shutdowns Are This Fun, Perhaps I Should’ve Read Project 2025!!!

Trump’s UN Address Is Being Called President Biden’s Best Speech In Years!!!

Donald Trump took time out of cancelling Tylenol (since it must be a woke drug, if it’s pronounced, “Ass-eat-o-many-men”), to address the UN’s General Assembly in what’s being called President Biden’s best speech in years. And, in case you missed it, it was Trump’s most embarrassing performance to date, which is no small accomplishment for […]

Read More Trump’s UN Address Is Being Called President Biden’s Best Speech In Years!!!

FEMA’s Texas Response Slowed Because Cosplay Kristi’s Scuba Gear Was Lost In The Attic!!!

It turns out that when young girls were being swept away from camp cots by deadly Texas flood waters, FEMA search and rescue teams were forced to sit on their thumbs for 72 hours waiting for Cosplay Kristi Noem to sign off on their deployment. However, it turns out she was far too busy asking […]

Read More FEMA’s Texas Response Slowed Because Cosplay Kristi’s Scuba Gear Was Lost In The Attic!!!