The Discombobulator-In-Chief!!!

Donald Trump can’t stop bragging about a new military weapon he named, “The Discombobulator.” Although, can you really trust Trump’s reviews of its capabilities? Considering he once nicknamed himself “The Fastest Man Alive” after convincing Melania that premature ejaculation was a superpower. However, even when it comes to classified information, Trump can’t help but leak […]

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Trouble In Parad-ICE?!?

Trump’s immigration enforcement has clearly hit an ICE-berg and is rapidly taking on more water than his lower limbs. But instead of going down with the ship, Trump’s band of MAGA misfits has turned on one another faster than the Gallagher Brothers in an Oasis Crime Family. However, Kristi Noem hand-picked Greg Bovino, which, in […]

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Is ICE Losing Its Grip?!?

It’s official, Greg Bovino, Trump’s snack-sized border bitch has been demoted from the front lines in Minnesota, so he can primarily focus on his true passion, drowning Mexicans in obscurity. And while in the grand scheme of things, this is, at best, doing the bare minimum, and at worst, a dimly-witted downgrade. It is still […]

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The Groupies Of Pedophiles (GOP) Are Stuck Between A Rock And A Sex Offender!!!

Now that the discharge petition has reached the necessary 218 votes to release the Epstein files, the GOP suddenly realizes they can no longer protect Donald Trump. Sure, their first instinct was to jump into bed with a sex offender, but even Republicans prefer covering their own ass to getting fucked by a pedophile. Which […]

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Navy Warships To Fire Missiles Into California During “No Kings” Protest!!!

With “No Kings” Part Deux upon us, Donald Trump plans to play Battleship with Navy Warships and fire missiles into Camp Pendleton, California, in the worst Hasbro game-inspired bombing since Rihanna sank her “Battleship” movie. Thankfully, the folks holding down the fort at Democracy’s Alamo, The Meidas Touch Network, broke the news about the Department […]

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Trump: If Government Shutdowns Are This Fun, Perhaps I Should’ve Read Project 2025!!!

Speaker Mike Johnson (a man so unlikeably religious he says grace before eating ass) speaks to the press about Donald Trump as though he’s bragging about some smoking-hot Canadian girlfriend that just doesn’t exist. Which is sad for multiple reasons, but mainly because we all know Trump, and we’d trade that fat POS for the […]

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Trump To Send The National Guard To 19 States For An Election-Rigging Dress Rehearsal!!

This country has officially sleepwalked itself into an American dictatorship, and Donald Trump will do anything in his power to ensure that the public doesn’t wake up before the 2026 elections, asking, “Umm, how the fuck did we get here?” And if you don’t think sending the national guard to 19 Red States isn’t, at […]

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