Navy Warships To Fire Missiles Into California During “No Kings” Protest!!!

With “No Kings” Part Deux upon us, Donald Trump plans to play Battleship with Navy Warships and fire missiles into Camp Pendleton, California, in the worst Hasbro game-inspired bombing since Rihanna sank her “Battleship” movie. Thankfully, the folks holding down the fort at Democracy’s Alamo, The Meidas Touch Network, broke the news about the Department […]

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Trump: If Government Shutdowns Are This Fun, Perhaps I Should’ve Read Project 2025!!!

Speaker Mike Johnson (a man so unlikeably religious he says grace before eating ass) speaks to the press about Donald Trump as though he’s bragging about some smoking-hot Canadian girlfriend that just doesn’t exist. Which is sad for multiple reasons, but mainly because we all know Trump, and we’d trade that fat POS for the […]

Read More Trump: If Government Shutdowns Are This Fun, Perhaps I Should’ve Read Project 2025!!!

Trump To Send The National Guard To 19 States For An Election-Rigging Dress Rehearsal!!

This country has officially sleepwalked itself into an American dictatorship, and Donald Trump will do anything in his power to ensure that the public doesn’t wake up before the 2026 elections, asking, “Umm, how the fuck did we get here?” And if you don’t think sending the national guard to 19 Red States isn’t, at […]

Read More Trump To Send The National Guard To 19 States For An Election-Rigging Dress Rehearsal!!

Why Is The FBI C*ck-Blocking A Potential Grindr Rendezvous With Speaker Mike Johnson?!?

Last year, it came to light that self-described homophobe and Speaker of the House Mike Johnson had a bizarre arrangement with his teenage son Jack (No, not the singer/surfer Jack Johnson, although in this scenario, I bet the Speaker wishes). Apparently, the two Johnsons had an incestuous agreement to monitor each other’s porn intake like […]

Read More Why Is The FBI C*ck-Blocking A Potential Grindr Rendezvous With Speaker Mike Johnson?!?

After Losing 3 Recounts, MAGA Overturns NC Supreme Court Election, Throwing Out 60K+ Legal Votes!!!

So what’s the point of even having elections if every sore loser will lie, cheat, steal, bitch, and moan until they get the results they desire? This entire scenario sounds much more like corruption than a conflict of interest. MAGA NC Supreme Court Justices overturning the results of a free and fair election over politics […]

Read More After Losing 3 Recounts, MAGA Overturns NC Supreme Court Election, Throwing Out 60K+ Legal Votes!!!

Despite Ignoring It’s Airport Destination Driverless Car Successfully Circles Parking Lot!!!

In the least shocking development since Los Angeles spontaneously combusted once again, causing hundreds of thousands to be displaced by relentless wind-driven wildfires devastating the region. A self-driving car malfunctioned, leaving its time-strapped passenger attempting to make his flight with no self-troubleshooting go-to options on the fly. Perhaps the software engineers tasked with solving any […]

Read More Despite Ignoring It’s Airport Destination Driverless Car Successfully Circles Parking Lot!!!

What To Do With Your Christmas Tree If You Missed Your Local Pick-Up Day!!!

Christmas Day comes around just as quickly as it goes away each year. However, the one thing that awkwardly overstays its welcome much longer than is sociably acceptable. Other than your creepy single uncle fooling no one but his mirror with his attempted combover, is that withering Christmas tree kept in the unproductive corner of […]

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Was Putin Aiming For Santa When He Shot Down A Passenger Jet On Christmas?!?

So Russian State Run Media (the country’s largest propaganda provider) went above and beyond this Holiday Season. To prove once and for all what makes them the number #1 vacationing destination of the faux masculine supremacy movement here in the States. Now, since Putin’s Regime tells their audiences what media they should and shouldn’t consume, […]

Read More Was Putin Aiming For Santa When He Shot Down A Passenger Jet On Christmas?!?