Donald Trump can’t stop bragging about a new military weapon he named, “The Discombobulator.” Although, can you really trust Trump’s reviews of its capabilities? Considering he once nicknamed himself “The Fastest Man Alive” after convincing Melania that premature ejaculation was a superpower. However, even when it comes to classified information, Trump can’t help but leak […]
Read More The Discombobulator-In-Chief!!!So, yesterday was Groundhog Day, the only day of the year when the biggest shadow in weather forecasting isn’t Al Roker’s. That honor goes to Punxsutawney Phil. The groundhog ICE mistakenly chased back into a hole after believing its shadow was a minority, which not only means 6 more weeks of winter, but that groundhogs […]
Read More Gabbard Blames Shadow For Groundhog Day Whistleblower Cover-Up!!!The DOJ was obligated by law to release the Epstein files, in their entirety, on December 19th of last year. However, Pam Bondi has intentionally disrespected the law and the sexual abuse survivors left victimized in the wake of a Barbaric Billionaire Boys Club. While, demonstrating an overdue lack of urgency that would shock and […]
Read More The Weaponization Of The Epstein Files!!!On its own, yesterday’s FBI raid on Fulton County, Georgia’s election infrastructure, is the kind of nightmare fuel that makes Freddy Krueger contemplate early retirement. And that’s before we learned CIA top boss Tulsi Garbard (who, coincidentally, shares Freddy Krueger’s skin regime) was pictured sneaking around the premises, looking more like Leonardo DiCaprio from “The […]
Read More Pepe Le Pew-Tin Puppet Strikes Again!!!Trump’s immigration enforcement has clearly hit an ICE-berg and is rapidly taking on more water than his lower limbs. But instead of going down with the ship, Trump’s band of MAGA misfits has turned on one another faster than the Gallagher Brothers in an Oasis Crime Family. However, Kristi Noem hand-picked Greg Bovino, which, in […]
Read More Trouble In Parad-ICE?!?It’s official, Greg Bovino, Trump’s snack-sized border bitch has been demoted from the front lines in Minnesota, so he can primarily focus on his true passion, drowning Mexicans in obscurity. And while in the grand scheme of things, this is, at best, doing the bare minimum, and at worst, a dimly-witted downgrade. It is still […]
Read More Is ICE Losing Its Grip?!?Donald Trump, a man who wants to protect Americans from immigrants so much that he’s willing to kill every last citizen just to prove it. Renee Good and Alex Pretti weren’t collateral damage; they were fascism’s strategic write-offs. Pretti WAS however, brandishing a weapon to interfere with an ICE operation. But that operation wasn’t to […]
Read More We’re Being Lied To, We’re Being Murdered…Our Pets Heads Are Falling Off!!!The New York Times is reporting that Donald Trump has pocketed more than $ 1.4 billion since moving back into a Melania-less White House. No doubt the single-largest underestimation of Trump’s net since President Fatty McGee took full-Earth credit for his 224lb moon weight. I mean, Trump is built ike an Iceburg, so we can […]
Read More Guess Who Earned $1.4+ Billion This Year?!?Donald Trump has become more unglued over Greenland than his aging Hand-Aid at a Russian bathhouse tickle tournament. Sending all sorts of creepy late-night texts to the Norwegian Prime Minister and then showing up at Europe’s door uninvited like he’s the 4th Reich. At this point, Trump has built a far stronger case for being […]
Read More Confused Old Man Threatens… ICELAND?!?Donald Trump reminds me a lot of Tony Soprano. Not because he manages the US government like an out-of-shape mob boss, but because he needs intensive therapy, is the poster child for insecure Dons seeking mommy’s approval, and has his own demented Junior claiming, “He never had the makings of a varsity athlete.” I swear, […]
Read More ICE Is Detaining Native Americans On Immigration Violations With Zero Reservations!!!
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