Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, pictured below with resting Paula-Dean-on-Bath-Salts’ face, went viral after being the first Trump official caught on record openly telling the truth. Spilling the MAGA tea to Vanity Fair about Trump’s ‘alcoholic personality’, Vance’s ‘Conspiracy’ Theories, and Musk’s ‘avowed ketamine use,’ and yet not one mention of Karolying Leavitt’s lips having […]
Read More Girl’s Gone Wiles!!!Donald Trump, a man who even betrayed his oath to protect and defend the Epstein Files. Held a rally at the Mount Airy Casino in the Poconos yesterday to discuss the state of the economy. A symbolic gesture, considering that if not for casinos, Trump might never have learned how to bankrupt a country. There, […]
Read More Rip Tan Stinkle Makes It Through An Entire Speech Awake, But Not Woke!!!A recent report prepared by active and retired FBI agents characterized Kash Patel as an insecure little bitch whose overall vibe is: kids’ table tantrum. If only the thin blue line between saving the day and shitting the bed was an emotional support windbreaker in a women’s smedium. However, Keystone Kash isn’t the FBI Director […]
Read More FBI Report Claims Keystone Kash Is An Insecure Smedium!!!Most people who start fights and heckle comics at 1 am call themselves an Uber, not a Nobel Peace Prize candidate. However, the only thing Donald Trump likes more than starting a conflict is taking undeserved credit for ending one between two countries he would rather tariff than pronounce. Leave it to Donald Trump to […]
Read More That’ll Do Pig… That’ll Do!!!After the House passed the release of the Epstein files in a 427-1 vote, the Senate invoked unanimous consent and quickly sent the bill over to the White House for signature. Where Trump said, “What’s unanimous consent, and if I sign this, can I invoke it retroactively?” Just kidding; Trump was going all in, with […]
Read More Trump’s Reenactment Of The Epstein Files Ends In A Happy Ending!!!Donald Trump announced he will not subvert the release of the Epstein files, but will sure as shit give a full pardon when Pam Bodi does. That’s the thing about pledging loyalty to a Sex Offender: you’re not only forced to kiss Trump’s ass, but to also eat it. Which is nothing compared to the […]
Read More Trump Won’t Derail The Release Of The Epstein Files, But An Open Investigation Will!!!The government shutdown is unofficially over. Republicans can finally celebrate losing healthcare for millions of Americans, unlike Democrats, who couldn’t make it an entire week without accidentally shooting the country in the dick again. Although Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer will sleep soundly knowing that the Shutdown is nearing its end. Now that his imaginary […]
Read More Congratulations, Chuck Schumer; At Least, The Baileys Are Happy!!!Has anyone else noticed that Marjorie Taylor Greene has been demanding the release of the Epstein Files and blaming the GOP for the government shutdown, and John Fetterman’s day is spent trashing Democrats on Fox News? Which begs the question: Are MTG and Fetterman involved in some sorta bipartisan body swap, like “Freaky Friday,” but […]
Read More Is There A White Trash Freaky Friday Happening In Congress?!?Donald Trump plans to award himself $230 million to remind the public that if anyone deserves to pay a price for January 6th, it’s the American Taxpayer. After all, prior to the 2020 Presidential election, Trump specifically warned voters not to elect Biden. So, instead, Trump sent a moron militia to hang Mike Pence in […]
Read More Trump To Pay Himself $230 Million In Taxpayer Money To Fund His Obsession With Balls!!!Donald Trump, a man so obsessed with remodeling the White House in his own image that he transformed the East Wing into a total train wreck. If he hadn’t already, Trump can now officially cross “A-Hole in the White House” off his bucket list. You would think commuting George Santos’ prison sentence for using donor […]
Read More You Can Officially Cross ‘A-Hole In The White House’ Off Trump’s Bucket List!!!
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