On the eve of the deadline, I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever redaction Rorschach test we receive in place of the Epstein files, it will feature more black ink than an octopus orgy. I mean, instead of the Epstein files, it should’ve taken an act of Congress to release Ghislaine Maxwell into the general […]
Read More Trump Is Bribing The Military With $1,776 Of The $2.9 Billion He Stole From Them!!!What do an election booth and a Mar-A-Lago swimming pool have in common? Donald Trump will do everything in his power to keep them minority free. And next week’s elections will be his first dress rehearsal for turning a campaign threat into a Dictator’s promise. Because Donald Trump didn’t just steal 230 million dollars of […]
Read More Next Week Is Trump’s Election-Stealing Dress Rehearsal!!!“NBA Players and Coaches Involved In A Mafia-Backed Gambling Ring”, now that is just the kind of clickbait that could not only earn Keystone Kash Fanduel’s largest payout in prop bet history, but also a seat at the big boy table come next month’s Cabinet meeting. Because even Kim Jong Goon enjoys when the top […]
Read More NBA Players And Coaches Indicted In A Mafia Gambling Sting: Or, As Trump Calls It, Perfect Timing!!!Donald Trump plans to award himself $230 million to remind the public that if anyone deserves to pay a price for January 6th, it’s the American Taxpayer. After all, prior to the 2020 Presidential election, Trump specifically warned voters not to elect Biden. So, instead, Trump sent a moron militia to hang Mike Pence in […]
Read More Trump To Pay Himself $230 Million In Taxpayer Money To Fund His Obsession With Balls!!!Donald Trump, a man so obsessed with remodeling the White House in his own image that he transformed the East Wing into a total train wreck. If he hadn’t already, Trump can now officially cross “A-Hole in the White House” off his bucket list. You would think commuting George Santos’ prison sentence for using donor […]
Read More You Can Officially Cross ‘A-Hole In The White House’ Off Trump’s Bucket List!!!You would assume Donald Trump would have a lot more in common with a bunch of land-owning white guys who didn’t want to pay taxes and thought minorities shouldn’t vote. Yet, if you’ve read the American Founding Fathers’ Declaration of Independence, it sounds more like Jefferson’s 1-star Yelp review of Trump’s presidency. Trump has so […]
Read More The Declaration Of Independence Reads Like A 1-Star Yelp Review Of Trump’s Presidency!!!What do Middle East peace and fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election have in common? They’re the only figments of Donald Trump’s imagination that don’t require an XXX-rating or a non-disclosure agreement. Leave it to Trump to think he could somehow solve more than 100 years of infighting the same way he “Made America Great […]
Read More Turns Out Negotiating Peace Is A Lot Easier On Truth Social Than In The Middle East!!!Welcome to the United States of America, the former land of the free and home of the brave, where, if asked how you spent your Saturday, October 18th, in mixed company, you answer, “On the advice of counsel, I must exercise my 5th Amendment right to pretend you were talking to that nosey MAGA bitch […]
Read More America: F*cking With Bitch-Ass KKKings Since 1776Donald Trump is so laser-focused on receiving a Nobel Prize that he’s willing to kill everyone who stands between him and peace. Much like DC Comics’ antihero PeaceMaker, except Trump is much fatter, dumber, and instead of PeaceMaker’s cool helmet and bald eagle sidekick, PeaceMAGA wears a dirty diaper and has a bald asshole named […]
Read More Donald Trump Plans To Kill As Many People As It Takes To Reach Peace!!!With “No Kings” Part Deux upon us, Donald Trump plans to play Battleship with Navy Warships and fire missiles into Camp Pendleton, California, in the worst Hasbro game-inspired bombing since Rihanna sank her “Battleship” movie. Thankfully, the folks holding down the fort at Democracy’s Alamo, The Meidas Touch Network, broke the news about the Department […]
Read More Navy Warships To Fire Missiles Into California During “No Kings” Protest!!!
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