JD Vance, MAGA’s Patron Saint of Monotony, made an unsolicited return to Rome yesterday to crash Pope Leo’s inaugural mass. After a prior Pope Francis encounter proved so tedious that Medical Examiners determined that the boredom alone ultimately drained the will to beat out of the Pope’s heart. So, once it became publicized that newly elected Pope Leo had been a vocal critic of Vance’s variety of fascism, many wondered if the VP’s newfound Papal blood lust had overtaken couches on this sick fuck’s to-do list. You would think to avoid being caught up in another disturbing sex scandal/unexplained Pope death, every time the man set foot on the Vatican grounds, the Catholic Church would outfit Vance in a Trump 2028 Hannibal Lecter-esque restraint. Considering during the entirety of Pope Francis’s funeral, it was rumored the Vice President required a copy of Trump’s Bible just to disguise his even more mundane boner.
The People Article Quoted – https://people.com/jd-vance-attends-pope-leo-inaugural-mass-11736782
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