
Trump’s name appeared in the Epstein files more than the Bible referred to Jesus H Christ. So, it’s not surprising, in the case of the Billionaire Diddler, Pam Bondi couldn’t find any evidence of corruption. Considering, like Waze directions from the White House to Mar-A-Lago, all roads lead back to Donald Trump. And in MAGA circles, there’s no bond stronger than a Pam Bond-i, especially after Trump appointed Bleach Blondi to every Florida Republican’s dream job: torturing minorities without due process. Do you think Diddy would’ve been indicted on sex trafficking charges if, circa-1996-Biggie was tasked with prosecuting the case? The release of the Epstein files was never more than a figment of the iMAGAnation, like allegations of fraud in the 2020 presidential election or Trump’s business savvy. I can only imagine the press release if Bondi gets her filthy claws on the JFK files: “President Kennedy Decapitated From Natural Causes.”





In Today’s Palate Cleanser, John Stewart angrily tears into Trump’s Billionaire Blowjob Bill as if he was a kid halfway through unwrapping his lone stocking stuffer on Christmas morning; and realized it’s a green pair of reindeer socks.

