Man, I can’t even take a week off without the entire world going to shit. Then again, with Trump in office, every time you take a whiz, it feels like you’re taking more than just your wiener into your own hands. So, in this episode of “How Can Trump Ruin Everyone’s Fucking Day?” Venezuelan President and notorious POS Nicolas Maduro and his wife were whisked away in the middle of the night to an awaiting US Navy Battleship. In what Maduro’s wife, Cilia Flores, called: “Not exactly the spontaneous Caribbean cruise I had in mind!” But yet here Trump is, removing an illegitimate authoritarian criminal from the presidency as if Democrats aren’t taking copious notes for a future Operation Ballroom Blitz to drag him out of the White House by his thunder thankles. Because Gavin Newsom’s inauguration party will be a lot less awkward without Trump yelling at everyone to keep the noise down so he can post about “not” losing another election, in peace. But perhaps that’s another benefit of kidnapping Maduro: Trump can actually learn the tricks of the trade from a successful 2-time election thief. And for anyone claiming that Trump’s motivation for this unilateral regime change in Venezuela was for the betterment of anyone’s democracy, then why leave the country in the hands of the nation’s second-highest-ranking “narcoterrorist” and the real crooks, the American oil oligarchy? Apparently, Trump feels calling dibs on Venezuela’s oil reserve is more impartial than voting, because when has finders-keepers ever been rigged? In my opinion, the most surprising part of this whole fiasco is that Donald Trump actually kept a promise. You remember the one, the billion-dollar campaign reach around, Trump promised the oil industry if only they kept his neck pussy free from prison-shower tracheotomies and chlamydia. So fingers crossed, Venezuelans, unlike Americans, at least the “Making Venezuela Great Again” experiment will be a lateral move, unless Trump somehow creates a 4th-world country. Anyway, Happy New Year, folks. Is it too soon to wish for this year to be over? Because I am seriously contemplating changing my New Year’s resolution from quitting cigs to time-traveling in the smoking section.
The Daily Beast Article Quoted – https://www.thedailybeast.com/trumps-illegal-war-has-the-most-sinister-inspiration-you-can-imagine/
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