After the House passed the release of the Epstein files in a 427-1 vote, the Senate invoked unanimous consent and quickly sent the bill over to the White House for signature. Where Trump said, “What’s unanimous consent, and if I sign this, can I invoke it retroactively?” Just kidding; Trump was going all in, with […]
Read More Trump’s Reenactment Of The Epstein Files Ends In A Happy Ending!!!Donald Trump announced he will not subvert the release of the Epstein files, but will sure as shit give a full pardon when Pam Bodi does. That’s the thing about pledging loyalty to a Sex Offender: you’re not only forced to kiss Trump’s ass, but to also eat it. Which is nothing compared to the […]
Read More Trump Won’t Derail The Release Of The Epstein Files, But An Open Investigation Will!!!The government shutdown is unofficially over. Republicans can finally celebrate losing healthcare for millions of Americans, unlike Democrats, who couldn’t make it an entire week without accidentally shooting the country in the dick again. Although Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer will sleep soundly knowing that the Shutdown is nearing its end. Now that his imaginary […]
Read More Congratulations, Chuck Schumer; At Least, The Baileys Are Happy!!!Has anyone else noticed that Marjorie Taylor Greene has been demanding the release of the Epstein Files and blaming the GOP for the government shutdown, and John Fetterman’s day is spent trashing Democrats on Fox News? Which begs the question: Are MTG and Fetterman involved in some sorta bipartisan body swap, like “Freaky Friday,” but […]
Read More Is There A White Trash Freaky Friday Happening In Congress?!?Donald Trump plans to award himself $230 million to remind the public that if anyone deserves to pay a price for January 6th, it’s the American Taxpayer. After all, prior to the 2020 Presidential election, Trump specifically warned voters not to elect Biden. So, instead, Trump sent a moron militia to hang Mike Pence in […]
Read More Trump To Pay Himself $230 Million In Taxpayer Money To Fund His Obsession With Balls!!!Donald Trump, a man so obsessed with remodeling the White House in his own image that he transformed the East Wing into a total train wreck. If he hadn’t already, Trump can now officially cross “A-Hole in the White House” off his bucket list. You would think commuting George Santos’ prison sentence for using donor […]
Read More You Can Officially Cross ‘A-Hole In The White House’ Off Trump’s Bucket List!!!You would assume Donald Trump would have a lot more in common with a bunch of land-owning white guys who didn’t want to pay taxes and thought minorities shouldn’t vote. Yet, if you’ve read the American Founding Fathers’ Declaration of Independence, it sounds more like Jefferson’s 1-star Yelp review of Trump’s presidency. Trump has so […]
Read More The Declaration Of Independence Reads Like A 1-Star Yelp Review Of Trump’s Presidency!!!Sure, Donald Trump has an “America First” agenda, but so did Osama Bin Laden, and I don’t remember Fox News calling him “Patriotic”. I mean, allowing Qatar’s Air Force to set up shop in Idaho might be good news for the state’s lone Halal grocery shop, “Atta Boy’s,” but not so much for the residents […]
Read More A Qatari Air Force Base In Idaho Is Sending Some Serious “America First” Mixed Messages!!!Donald Trump took time out of hanging federal employees, no longer useful to him, out to dry, or, as KKKaroline calls it, “The Epstein Severance Package,” to send Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy (The one Trump appointee who heard the MAGA slogan “Trans For Everyone”, and thought “My job just got a whole lot harder!”) […]
Read More Thanks To Trump’s Government Shutdown, Air-Traffic Controllers Are Winging It!!!Attorney General and inspiration for MAGA Cunt Barbie, Pam Bondi, proved once again why she is so uniquely qualified to be Matt Gaetz’s Sloppy-Seconds. Bleach Bondi arrived at yesterday’s Senate hearings armed with only a notebook, her personality, and looks, all of which can be described as even more damaging to the evil stepmom image […]
Read More Bleach Bondi Goes Full “Mean Girls” At Hearing After Photos Reveal Her Senator Burn Book!!!
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