Trump Can’t Even Drink Water, Let Alone Walk On It!!!

After a lengthy hiatus, I have finally returned from my Memorial Day break that lasted a few weeks short of a Charlie Sheen afterparty. To be honest, I have wanted to jump back into writing. But felt more like a fat kid overly hesitant to turn double-dutch into a belly-flop slingshot. However, I could no longer hold my tongue because at this point, Donald Trump can’t even get along with water, let alone walk on it. (Minus what he’s storing in his legs like a cankled camel) And no, I am not referring to his inability to take a sip without behaving like his hands are on backwards. Just between the Reflecting Pool and the Strait of Hormuz, if the Family Fued surveyed 100 people: “Name a body of water that has recently burned Donald Trump?” Holy Water would now rank a distant third. And yet, although I haven’t accomplished much over the last month, at least I didn’t cost the American taxpayer billions, kill 165 schoolgirls, surrender some-conditionally to Iran, and give Abraham Lincoln a front row seat to Swamp Thing’s latest upper-decker. Which, according to Trump’s science fair project, is no small feat, considering the reflecting pool is even taller than the Empire State Building… when fully aroused. Yeah, it turns out that hiring a company named GreenWater to turn your water blue is exactly as dumb as it sounded coming out of Trump’s lie hole. Apparently, algae isn’t as susceptible to reverse psychology as Black Republicans. Then again, with Mar-A-Largo pool boy on the resume, how do you not hand a no-bid contract to Don Snoreleone’s fugliest Goomba, especially when he looks like he genuinely goes to the Bada Bing (Tony Soprano’s strip club) for the buffet? Poor Melania, she even throws up into her own mouth at the thought of fucking the pool boy. At least now she knows she’s only a waterbed purchase away from a Trump-less night’s sleep. You know what they’d call the January 6th Insurrection if the Capitol had a moat? The day Donald Trump spontaneously combusted after conceding to Biden gracefully…

The Daily Beast Article Quoted – https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/jon-stewart-exposes-depth-of-donald-trumps-pool-slime-corruption