*VIDEO UPDATED JD Vance denied reports of a planned all-hands-on-deck meeting that CNN reported on earlier in the day. Before he ultimately postponed the not-so-secret event, in a lame attempt to help 2029-JD Vance pass an FBI lie detector test. Not to mention, it gave Vance the perfect opportunity to get in a fraudulent “I […]
Read More Dinner For Schmucks *NOT Postponed Until Further Notice?!?Donald Trump spontaneously wandered out onto the White House roof yesterday in what appeared to be a Choose Your Own Adventure series titled “Diddler on The Roof: Alziemeher’s Edition.” But it was all just a simple misunderstanding. Apparently, Trump thought the best remedy for swollen cankles was to go onto the roof, after doctors advised […]
Read More We Wanted Trumpty Dumpty, We Got Diddler On The Roof!!!Donald Trump took time out of avoiding accusations about his creepy past to open up to Newsmax about his 27-year-old Press Secretary’s fuckability. Because nothing screams, “I’m a reformed pedophile” more than hornily hitting on an employee who was -2 years-old back when Trump was barely a 50-year-old wingman for Jeffrey Epstein. Then again, only […]
Read More Trump’s Horned-Up Newsmax Interview Made America Nauseous Again!!!Credit where credit is due, Donald Trump’s name is not in the Epstein Files. Sure, it took thousands of FBI agents working around the clock to make all the evidence disappear, but that’s only because redacting files is much more time-consuming than staging a murder to look like a suicide. And in case you’re wondering […]
Read More FBI Wipes the Epstein Files Clean Of Trump’s Fingerprint!!!Sure, most people don’t feel the need to randomly call their friends, to not so subtly convince them that they had no involvement in another person’s suicide. But, then again, this is Donald Trump we’re talking about. A man who, when others are playing checkers, calls them out of the blue to ask if Jeffrey […]
Read More Trump Calling Friends To Convince Them He Didn’t Kill Epstein Is A Bit Of A Red Flag!!!Nice try, Fox News, but it’ll take a lot more than Sydney Sweeney’s WMDs (Weapons of Mammary in Denim) to distract America from the fact that our President is at best pedophile-friendly. And spare me all your faux-MAGA outrage because the only blue-eyed blonde with big tits Democrats are bitching about being an advertisement for […]
Read More Nice Try, Fox News, But It’ll Take More Than Sydney Sweeney To Forget Trump’s Pedo-Friendly!!!Somehow, Donald Trump has enough breakup stories about Jeffrey Epstein to supply Taylor Swift with a double album. But much like his diapers, when the press gets a whiff of something that doesn’t smell right, it’s time for Trump to change his story. And since Mar-A-Largo was already known as Epstein Island’s scouting combine, Trump […]
Read More Epstein Dumped Trump Over Russian Money Laundering Deal!!!“Queen for the Day” immunity recipient, Ghislaine Maxwell, may also be rewarded with a Trump Presidential Pardon for her newfound ability to recall even the most obscure legal infractions imaginable by a Democrat, despite the gory Trump details portion of her brain getting lobotomized. Or, “The Bottom-Bitch holding up her side of the bribe,” according […]
Read More Pardon The Interruption?!?Donald Trump took time out of blaming the world’s problems on the Biden Autopen to announce a vague and mathematically questionable proposal to lower pharmaceutical prices, claiming, “We will have reduced drug prices by 1,000 percent by 1100, 1200, 1300, 1400, 700, 600. Not 30 or 40 or 50 percent, but numbers the likes of […]
Read More Trump Claims Epstein List Is A Biden Autopen Forgery!!!Congressman Tim Burchett motioned to subpoena Epstein-Madam and Bottom Bitch, Ghislaine Maxwell, to testify before the House Oversight Committee. A move that not only forced Speaker Johnson to send Congress home early for summer break, giving Marjorie Taylor Greene even more time to shatter her all-time Bourbon Street beads-for-boobs record, but also forced Donald Trump […]
Read More Congressional Subpoena Lands Ghislaine Maxwell On The Endangered Species List!!!
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