Donald Trump addressed the nation last night about US election security, and while most Diaper Don critics’ initial response was to grab their eyeballs before they rolled out of the back of their head, I said, “Bring it the fuck on…” Like I was spitballing new titles for a cheerleader lorno. And no, not because I think Fascist Lives Matter. But because I, too, believe there was foreign interference in our 2020 election. However, I believe the only Presidential candidate to benefit from outside manipulation was Donald Jahosepha Trump…and he fucking knows it.
The Daily Beast Article Quoted – https://www.yahoo.com/news/politics/articles/trump-humiliated-instant-fact-checks-044000608.html
That’s why losing in 2020 made the man come unglued faster than a week-old Band-Aid in a hot tub. I mean, It’s one thing to lose, but to cheat and still lose, that usually requires Oxempic, not NBC’s other “Biggest Loser”. Now, despite what my ex-wife’s Facebook might claim, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But our elections have been compromised since 2016. That’s not my comedic opinion; that’s a verifiable fact. Or, as PBS News hilariously describes it: “Russian government-affiliated cyber actors conducted extensive operations targeting election systems in all 50 states in the run-up to the 2016 U.S. presidential election. Multiple federal investigations—including those by the U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee and the Special Counsel—concluded that Russian operatives executed an unprecedented, coordinated campaign to probe American defenses, breach voter registration databases, and hack political organizations.”
In summation, since 2016, the US electorate has been shooting blanks. Thankfully, the hackers were Russian and instinctively left a single bullet in the gun: mail-in voting. You ever wonder why Donald Trump treats mail-in ballots like banging his daughter: You don’t hear a single complaint, when he’s the one stuffing it in the box? Because, as the Pennsylvania Department of State can verify, “Because of the strict procedures surrounding the counting of mail-in votes, it is a relatively secure process that would be more challenging to manipulate than electronically-tabulated vote totals.”
So, yes, Putin had the foresight to tip our democratic scales in favor of Trumplethinskin, but never once did he imagine his pompous puppet would “disband the Global Health Security and Biodefense unit — responsible for pandemic preparedness” and infect the globe with something other than chlamydia. That’s right, Trump not only contributed to a relentless COVID outbreak but forced a large portion of the population to give mail-in voting and sourdough bread-making the ole college try. Turning the 2020 election into an anomaly in which 69% of all votes were cast non-traditionally, thus allowing President Biden’s mail-in totals to eclipse the algorithmic manipulation of our in-person voting systems. So, go ahead, bitch, moan, and stomp those cankles all you want. Just be careful what you wish for, Shitler; God forbid people start taking election security seriously. Sadly, in this “My enemies’ enemy is my friend” state of politics, Democrats have convinced themselves our elections are as honest as Abe’s secret diary passages. I, however, don’t subscribe to the theory that burying your head in the sand is a foolproof prevention for getting fucked. Now, I hate to victim-blame…but here we go. Nothing screams “Take advantage of me” more than defending election integrity in the face-down-ass-up position. Let’s remember, whatever malware that currently exists in our vote tabulation machines is like the bruise on Trump’s hand; no amount of ignoring, makeup, or thoughts, and/or prayers will make it magically disappear. Don’t get me wrong, everything that comes out of Trump’s mouth is either a lie, accidental confession, or a half-chewed projectile launched at the speed of McGross. And last night’s speech was far more about laying the groundwork for stealing future elections through more aggro methods like requiring minority voters to have a WASP co-signer. But that’s only because Trump is sooo unpopular that the current Russian malware isn’t programmed to cover a 10-point spread. I mean, Jesus Christ it was built to win an election, not a game against the Globetrotters. However, none of that changes the fact that Democrats are still acting like 2011 Carlie Sheen; setting daily rock bottom records, and yet, still all they talk about is “Winning.” How do you expect to fix a problem that you can’t even admit you have?
THE-ANTI-SOCIAL-MEDIA 