After a lengthy hiatus, I have finally returned from my Memorial Day break that lasted a few weeks short of a Charlie Sheen afterparty. To be honest, I have wanted to jump back into writing. But felt more like a fat kid overly hesitant to turn double-dutch into a belly-flop slingshot. However, I could no […]
Read More Trump Can’t Even Drink Water, Let Alone Walk On It!!!Finally, a Trump scam that will not only steal millions from hard-working Americans, but will also serve as a teachable moment for even the most moronic of MAGA Marks. I mean, voting for a Conman is stupid, but venmoing Trump a hundo…on an IOU…now that sounds symptomatic of shit-for-brain’s more violent cousin, CTE. The stage […]
Read More The Trump Phone Reviews Are In….When I originally started calling Kash Patel “Keystone K$SH,” I was referring to his inability to do his job like a Keystone Cop, not his inability to remain alcohol-free like a Keystone Light. However, while most people consider “Drinking on the job” a liability, Kash sees things much differently… And not at all because his […]
Read More Keystone K$SH: When Even Drinking ON The Job, Is ON-Brand!!!Donald Trump recently received FIFA’s first-ever Peace Prize. An award ceremony with all the pomp and circumstance of the Oscars and the prestige of finding a Female Body Inspector (FBI) T-shirt in the Hooters’ dumpster. Because the only international sports organization award Trump is earning on merit is a participation medal from the Special Olympics. […]
Read More Trump, First War Criminal Awarded Participation Peace Prize!!!Most people who start fights and heckle comics at 1 am call themselves an Uber, not a Nobel Peace Prize candidate. However, the only thing Donald Trump likes more than starting a conflict is taking undeserved credit for ending one between two countries he would rather tariff than pronounce. Leave it to Donald Trump to […]
Read More That’ll Do Pig… That’ll Do!!!I owe an apology to Marjorie Taylor Greene, considering she’s done nearly as much to protect pedophile victims as premature puberty. And yet I’ve been characterizing the Georgia Congresswoman as evil this entire time. When I’m starting to believe she’s just the last politician on Earth to figure out Trump is far more full of […]
Read More Trump And MTG Square Off In A MAGA Battle Of Wits, Completely Unarmed!!!What do Middle East peace and fraud in the 2020 Presidential Election have in common? They’re the only figments of Donald Trump’s imagination that don’t require an XXX-rating or a non-disclosure agreement. Leave it to Trump to think he could somehow solve more than 100 years of infighting the same way he “Made America Great […]
Read More Turns Out Negotiating Peace Is A Lot Easier On Truth Social Than In The Middle East!!!Welcome to the United States of America, the former land of the free and home of the brave, where, if asked how you spent your Saturday, October 18th, in mixed company, you answer, “On the advice of counsel, I must exercise my 5th Amendment right to pretend you were talking to that nosey MAGA bitch […]
Read More America: F*cking With Bitch-Ass KKKings Since 1776Donald Trump pulled off an amazing accomplishment this week, and I would consider myself a hater if, for once, I couldn’t put my differences aside to acknowledge this achievement. So, credit where credit is due: congratulations, Donald Trump. Most men your age not only tear a rotator cuff patting themselves on the back, but don’t […]
Read More Trump Defies Old Age, Somehow Pats Himself On The Back For An Entire Middle-East Trip!!!Donald Trump is traveling to the Middle East, not only to sign a Hamas-Israeli peace agreement, but to officially call dibs on the Gaza coastline and rename it Trump’s Noble Beach Prize. However, when it comes to ending the war, it’s obvious Trump also has some non-Nobel Peace Prize ulterior motives. After all, when asked […]
Read More Trump Plans To Call Dibs On The Gaza Coast And Rename It Trump’s Noble Beach Prize!!!
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