Kash Patel, Trump’s future Former FBI Director and current bobble-eyed booze bag, who spends so much of his day getting blacked out, that his FBI codename is “The Epstein List.” (Side note: Imagine Pam Bondi wasn’t lying when she told Fox News, “The Epstein List is currently sitting on my desk.” But was jokingly referring to Patel’s bite-sized ass sleeping his perpetual hangover off, and instead clarifying herself, thought, “What’s the worst that could possibly happen if the Fox and Friend don’t get the joke?” And at that exact moment, her failed attempt at humor would become her final attempt at honesty. Well, besides the fact that even Heroine wouldn’t classify Patel in the face-down, ass-up position as “sitting”. But that’s totally besides the point.) Nevertheless, ever since ‘The Atlantic’ outed the MAGA Mental Midget’s drinking problem, he has been on a bender of a different sort. Doing everything in his power to keep his job, short of arriving before lunch and passing a breathalyzer test. However, what Keystone Kash lacks in size, work ethic, and sobriety, he sure as shit makes up for in brown-nosing Trump’s Oval Orifice like a nosey Shitzu circling rock bottom. Case in point, on his first stop along the “I did not have sexual relations with that funnel… I just jammed it in my bum-bum like a thirsty Frat Boy bi-curious for Bud Heavy” Tour, he was busy whispering sweet nothings into Shitler’s television and was only one rigged-election-mention away from Trump’s belly button lint requesting a cleanup on aisle gunt. That’s when Patel upped his political pandering and announced that the FBI would also be indicting one of the few remaining organizations that still protects minority civil rights. With charges so “Trumped-Up,” they were seen waddling into the grand jury in their matching red ties. Yes, somehow, the DOJ claims that paying informants to infiltrate and dismantle the KKK and other white supremacy groups is the equivalent of the Southern Poverty Law Center financing terrorism. Which is ironic, because “Paying informants to bring down terrorist organizations” is how the FBI introduces itself at Bar Mitzvas and weddings, and not knowing that might make someone about the dumbest mother fucker on this planet. Or, as the FBI Director will one day describe them, “Hi, my name is Kash, and I’m an alcoholic!
The AP Article Quoted – https://apnews.com/article/southern-poverty-law-center-civil-rights-leaders-8ad9317c582764980d1377bdda841a3b
Another Successful HR Meeting In The Books…
In Today’s Palate Cleanser, we check in on the Make America Contagious Again spokesman RFK Jr, a man whose infectious laugh can simultaneously spread both concern and hepatitis, and is the leading suspect for why a matinee showing of Cocaine Bear turned from afternoon delight to super-spreader shitshow. Sure, Chuck Snoress may sound like an asthmatic blender after a few Margharitas, but MAHA believes in the picture of health. If it were the soundtrack of health, maybe Cheryl Hines would’ve married a rape whistle, and women everywhere would be receiving unsolicited pictures of Pete Hegseth’s wind chimes.
Fatty McGee…. You’re The Fattest!!!
When The Squad Accidentally Took The Over On Your Step Count….
THE-ANTI-SOCIAL-MEDIA 